Reply to Is it rude to speak a second language with children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes.  Right or wrong; common or uncommon; right or wrong - according to etiquette it’s rude to speak a second language (or whisper) in the company of people who don’t understand the language.

It’s not hard to switch to English.  [b]My kids learned both easily and knew when to speak French and when to speak English.[/b]  [/quote]

But Op's kid is REFUSING speaking her language to her. Her only option is to change her behavior and parenting, if she wants different results. It sounds like she tried it your way and it is failing. Good for you that it worked for YOUR kids, but it isn't working for OP's.

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Sometimes this doesn't work. Sometimes the child chooses what language they want to speak in exclusively.  I was a nanny for years for a Russian family, their daughter refused to speak to them in Russian.[/quote]

From my perspective, as a parent who dealt with this - she called their bluff and they let it go. It is a lot of work, and they chose to let the language go for whatever reasons. We all have to make parenting decisions and I would not judge their choices, but this was their choice to not push the issue, to not hire a Russian nanny, to not go and stay with Russian speaking grandparents, whatever.  Perhaps they were dealing with other things and did not have the bandwidth to fight this battle. [/quote]

You kind of are judhing their choicees. She was 3 at the time. I've lost touch with the family, so maybe she's interested in her parent's language now, but for that time she refused. Her brother kept speaking in  Russian.

I said this not say that OP shouldn't try with her children, but children aren't robots. They dodn't always do what we wish.[/quote]

No, I am not judging at all. I have a dear friend who had to let a language go for her children because one is not neurotypical. It is not an issue for most kids but for her child, it was. And they had a lot to deal with as a family because of it. Likewise some parents are immigrants dealing with huge amounts of stress and it is one more battle that is too much. 3 is still so young. Trying to only speak the majority language Is a normal stage. I think it is a survival instinct and for some kids it is a stronger instinct than for others.

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