Reply to Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?

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Reply to "Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people are being way too hard on OP.

The world has become increasingly competitive and OP is doing everything she can to give her kids an advantage.  90% of the threads on here are, at their core, about the same thing.  The manifestations are different, but every conversation about extended BF-ing, medication-free births, Beauvoir admissions, Bethesda real estate, planning travel to Europe, etc. are all about the same thing - giving our kids the absolute best.

OP, I say lean into it.  You don’t have to lower your standards to make someone else feel better.  Keep on grinding that homemade hummus![/quote]

But this is based on the fallacy that input equals output.  THere is some nutty person on here who is always talking about how a 'well groomed child will have no problem getting into the gifted program.'  Um, no.  It's not like there's an exact ratio between how much homemade hummus they eat and their SAT scores, where serving the stuff from Costco is an automatic 30 point deduction.  If only it were that simple!  My kids are older and there are three trends that you will see:
at some point in middle school, some percent of your friends will stop bragging about their kids and become somewhat secretive.  This may be because they are doing so well, and it may be because they have fallen off the fast track due to any number of factors.  There is almost no way to predict who these people will be.
There will be a similar event which occurs towards the end of high shool, and one more after everyone graduates from college.
Some kids won't graduate from college, will fail to launch, etc. etc. etc.  It won't necessarily be the kids you think it will be.

Life is very long and that's what you need to grasp, hummus lady.  There will be things that occur that you won't be able to shield them from.  You could get cancer or you could get divorced or you could win the lottery.  No amount of hummus will shield your kids from the effects of these events.  
That's why people talk about resiliency, etc.  
And -- when you realize that your kids have nothing even remotely interesting to say when they're asked to write a college admissions essay about 'overcoming a hardship' you may also find yourself stymied.  All that work and at the end of the day, lots of employers, admissions folks, etc.  want to see kids who've seen a bit of real life and experienced the consequences of their choices!  [/quote]

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