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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let him file. Then fight him tooth and nail for full custody and every penny you can squeeze out of him. Sounds like a loser anyway. You will be fine. Oh, and line up a date as soon as possible and rub his face in it. [/quote]

WTF?

It sounds like the DH is being reasonable. If they have 50/50 custody and similar incomes, OP might not even qualify to receive  child support.

If you’re both reasonable, you can probably save a ton on lawyers and just use a mediator. If you push for crazy things like full custody, don’t be surprised if he fights back. The lawyers will be the only ones who win in that situation. I also think it’s interesting that your son chose to stay with his dad instead of joining you on your weekend trip. Could the son be a lot more introverted (like his father) than you’d care to admit? Maybe if 50/50 custody isn’t on the table he would chose to live with his dad instead of OP... Then she’s stuck never seeing her kid and paying child support. Don’t be stupid and don’t try to push your luck. [/quote]

Op here.

That is what he wants to do, avoid using attorneys to save on legal fees to pay down debt instead.

He has always been reclusive. The more time he spent with my family though, the less he wanted to. He said he feels like there’s no joy in our marriage. It was our sixth wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. He had a big breakfast spread for me and a card with flowers. I didn’t get him anything in return because we said we weren’t doing gifts.

He then was upset today that I am able to plan our my nieces and nephews birthdays but apparently "do nothing" for him. I think he is a borderline narcissist because he sets me up for things like that.

And for the record, his family isn’t perfect and HIS parents are also alcoholics. That’s why he never sees them. [/quote]

And it sounds like he didn't give you a gift, but he did SOMETHING did you do ANYTHING for the anniversary? You could have written him a letter, there was no need to buy a gift.

And if he is distancing himself from the alcoholics in his own family of origin, why would he want to spend more time with the alcoholics in yours?

Not saying all of this is your fault, it takes two to make a marriage work, but just responding to what you have shared here. [/quote]

+1. There's a big difference between deciding on no gifts vs just ignoring the occasion.

OP, you could have - should have - done something free or low cost to celebrate your wedding anniversary. Then you turned around and put forth all this effort for your nieces and nephews, when you should have prioritized your husband (who's part of your immediate nuclear family) above them. It sounds like you come from a dysfunctional family and you haven't really broken free from those patterns. I also get a whiff of you and your family of origin having the attitude of prioritizing blood relatives over others. It sounds like your husband has been telling you that he's not comfortable with your family dynamics for a long time, but you haven't listened and you take your FOO's side. Now you're blindsided because you been dismissing what he's been saying.

If you even understand and admit what I'm saying here, then beg your husband to go to counseling and vow to treat him better. If you're adamant that you haven't mistreated him and he's wrong and you're still clinging to the biggest whopper of you were blindsided, then just go ahead and divorce because this can't be fixed. I hope you take this as an opportunity to get counseling to fix your habits that aren't good for you or your son either. [/quote]

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