Reply to PLEASE HELP! Urgent Situation With My Mom In California.

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "PLEASE HELP! Urgent Situation With My Mom In California. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Just got off the phone with mom (2 hr conversation).

To be clear she is not asking me for help. She is not asking me for money. She has been reaching out more lately I suppose for emotional support during her stressful situation,

We discussed ALOT tonight. Too much to type plus I don't even know where to start.

For one she clarified that she was reading these pamphlets from the social security benefits office and it does state as a previous pp said that for SSI that the asset cap is $2K and she is allowed to have a car, so that's good.

Tonight I suggested that she move out to VA permanently (not move in with me) but move here closer to the kids and I so we can be her support system and she just kept giving me all these excuses. For example, she doesn't like the East Coast she would consider a move to Arizona or Canada however. WTF?!!

Then she started saying that she wanted to get a job first and save up some money so that she's not coming to VA with limited finances. I suggested per a pp's advice that mom pack up the stuff in her truck (that's all she has to her name) , ship the boxes here and then donate her truck to a charity. She was open to that idea. But then she started  backtracking and going in circles.

I flat out told her "mom it sounds like all I'm hearing is excuses" then she broke down and admitted "yeah you're right but this is the life I'm used to it's not easy to make such a drastic change."

Then she mentioned that her sister wants to move from New York to Texas and her sister asked her to move in with her in Texas but Mom doesn't want to move to Texas.

Overall the conversation left me feeling drained and left me feeling like Mom does not really want to change her life.

Oh and the icing on the cake is that I'm on the phone  talking with her and this homeless man approaches her truck and starts asking her if he can look in her mirrors to shave his face. He had some kind of razors in his hand and she screamed at him " eave me alone" while I was on the phone. I was like "mom really this is what I'm talking about it's not safe for you to live this way." Then she launched into how she mostly feels safe and only on a few occasions has she felt threatened like when the man tried to snatch her purse. Ughh I just can't with her.

I was trying to remain calm but at one point I got so frustrated and I was like mom why don't you want to live a normal stable life. Then she went back into this is the life she knows and the life she's used to. I was like mom you're 65 for Christ Sake you need to move to the East Coast where you have more of a support system.

She says she will think about it but she is hopeful that once the social distancing restrictions ease up that her employer will hire her back to her job at the airport bc she has "seniority" and once she gets hired back she can start saving up maybe for a potential move.

That's sort of where we left the conversation and she proclaimed right before we got off the phone "wow, this is the longest that we've ever talked." I told her that she's stressing me out and I haven't been able to sleep because I'm worried about her and she said yes these are stressful time we are all stressed especially with COVID-19.

Uggh.

She seems open to the idea of moving closer to the kids and I but she made it clear that she doesn't like living on the East Coast. I feel like this is going to be an uphill battle trying to get her to relocate.

Sorry, I'm rambling. It's been a long stressful day and I just don't know how to feel. I sort of feel numb from all the worry and stress.[/quote]

Just remember you’re doing all you can now. You’ve offered help. Just keep doing what you can while maintaining the boundaries that have allowed you to get to where you are right now. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics