Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ like finds like.  The only person that wants to sleep with you is another narcissistic liar betraying her own spouse and family.  Really, your AP is as low class and low quality as you are.[/quote]

True.  They are delusional like that.

I’ve been married 22 years and [b]we were having sex 3-4 times per week still.[/b]

Then my dad was terminally ill for 2 years, I lost 15 pounds (And I was very fit and thin to begin with so not good) and was an emotional wreck.  He died and I was in mourning.  I would shut my eyes and cry during sex because I was so hurt about losing my dad and was still fulfilling his needs. Yes- I probably should have gone to grief counseling.   He had no idea. So, understandably, it wasn’t 3-4 times per week during that period.  But it was picking up again as I was coming out of grief.

For a spouse of 22 years to run off and find another married person to cheat with during that time instead of helping his wife work through grief from the death of a father she talked to daily and had an incredibly close relationship (as did he)—that is some vile selfish narcissistic behavior.  He justifies by saying he was helpful to me, my mom and kids during that time.  Yet he was in touch with her the whole time but couldn’t see her in person.

Jesus- fking Christ

Men like that guy and my husband are incredibly selfish self-centered people that are narcissists. Textbook.  It’s always about them.  Cold and callous.[/quote]

Just wanted to emphasize this point because it so frequently gets lost. There is this idea that fulfilling a man’s “needs” keeps him from straying. It’s quaint and wrong. Over the years I’ve met many cheaters who have no trouble getting action at home. They just also want some strange on the side. A major, major reason for straying is the pull of something new, the thrill of the chase, the titillation of the transgression - it doesn’t mean you aren’t still getting the old. (I’m a man, btw.)

Don’t even get me started on the whole idea of a “man’s needs,” a concept that men frequently use to coerce sex from their partners.[/quote]

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