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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's your dh's relationship, not yours. If you can afford the money, you need to step back and let your dh handle it. Once *you* calm down, you need to calmly discuss with dh a maximum you are willing to give his dad.

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+1 Let your DH handle it but make it clear that he is setting a precedent and that they will come back for more and when they do you are drawing a line in the sand. [/quote]

PP with alcoholic father here.  DH and myself had this "line in the sand": Dad needed to be safe. So we weren't paying for weddings or trips or booze. but we helped him get his car fixed. We bought him groceries. We bought him a condo in Florida and furnished it with Salvation Army furniture, a $100 bed and and a dresser from the side of the road. We arranged for Meals on Wheels. When he got too sick to live alone, we found him an assisted living facility that he could afford on his veteran's benefits, which we helped him apply for. When he got cancer, we drove him to chemo. When he decided to forego treatment, we arranged hospice.

OP's problem is now she's an EXTRA BURDEN for her DH. He already has his crazy dad to deal with, and now he has an out-of-control wife who is "shaking" with rage over a fairly limited amount of money. So he's caught between a rock and a hard place. So much for being a supportive spouse and having your spouse's back.

When we sold the condo, we doubled our money. See how that can work if you are calm, think things through and have standards?

Signed, good daughter for 83 years and good wife of 35 years

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