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[quote=Anonymous]You need a short term plan to figure out how to get some immediate relief, and a longer term exit strategy, which is a good idea anyway because it is very unlikely you'll make partner.

I'm really glad I stuck it out in BigLaw through my two kids.  It was super tough at the time (and my DH was also in BigLaw at the same time, so double stress) but it really allowed us to build a solid financial foundation, and gave me the skills and experience that allowed me to transition to well-paid but more flexible jobs after. Now my oldest is a senior in high school, and it was a great feeling to be able to tell him he could go to the college of his choice, without having to worry about the finances.  We are able to help our aging parents financially, and we look forward to a comfortable retirement. I have a wonderful relationship with my kids, and their many years in daycare, aftercare, and summer camps did not harm them in any way.  I still work hard, but have a lot of flexibility in my day, and now that my kids are older, I find I am able to focus on my career in a way that I hadn't since I was in my twenties, and am really enjoying it.

One added bonus that I never fully appreciated but I am able to see now with the benefit of hindsight.  Having to work closely with my DH to balance work and childcare really made our marriage stronger.  We are truly equal partners, and he is a great dad with very strong bonds with our kids.  There was no "default parent" in our house -- we both rowed hard with both oars and made sacrifices along the way.  If you are lucky enough to have a spouse who really supports you and wants to be a hands-on parent, you can absolutely make it work.

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