Reply to How to deal with my mother's absolutely appaling Christmas idea?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would discuss with your son and let him prioritize:

Grandma has decided to buy you clothes a size too small because she apparently has decided that you should be a different size and thinks that a good way to “fix” your perfectly normal, healthy body is to try to embarass you in front of our entire family.  I have told her that I am absolutely livid and that I will never forgive her if she follows through with this plan, but I can’t guarantee that that threat will stop her from doing it.

So now we have a choice and I want your opinion:

1) We go to family Christmas, if Grandma is awful to you, we tell her it’s unacceptable and we leave

2) We go to family Christmas and if Grandma is awful we just ignore her and change the subject.

3) We skip family Christmas and just do our own thing with you, me and dad.

It depends on how much this bothers you and on whether you actually will miss seeing your cousins for the holiday.  If you think it will be really upsetting and you don’t care much about seeing cousins we can just skip it, but I don’t want to just make that choice for you.  You are a young man now, not a child and there are lots of way to deal with a bully.[/quote]

This is the best answer here, OP. I love it. [/quote]

It really isn’t. It’s abdicating responsibility and putting the whole family’s holiday happiness on your 16yo’s shoulders. The reason OP doesn’t want to cancel is because it’ll disappoint the entire extended family. How unfair to push that decision off on a kid. How exactly does that conversation go? “Hi son, how was school? Oh by the way, grandma thinks you’re so fat that normal tactics to get you to be healthy won’t work. She’s decided to give you an embarrassing gift in front of the whole family. What? No, your dad and I don’t think you’re that fat. In fact, when we ask the dr if you’re too fat, the dr said not to worry, so don’t feel self conscious about your weight. About Christmas though, you know everyone is expecting to see us there, and you know how I love seeing my whole family. Everyone will be disappointed if we cancel, but if you think it would be too embarrassing to open up clothes too small and listen to a couple of remarks about your weight from grandma, we can skip it. We’ll stay home and bake cookies, because I know how much you love cookies!”

Either you’re ok with throwing your kid to your wolf of a mother, or you’re strong enough to stand up to her and protect your child. Even telling the kid grandma’s cruel plan is mean. It’s like telling someone a third person was talking trash about them behind their back. [/quote]

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