Reply to How do resolve - husband I disagree over childcare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think OP is wrong for wanting as much help as possible, but I think she might be disappointed if she has a 24/7 nanny and only weekly housecleaning!  She needs a combination of a night nurse, a day nanny, a housekeeper, and ideally someone else to prepare meals (like delivered meal service, or chef that comes to your home once a week and prepares 4 days of food at once).  Honestly, OP, my advice is to make sure you outsource the drudgery and not the fun.[/quote]

Serious question - what would you even do during the day with this level of help as a SAH? [/quote]

I'm the PP, and I should have clarified that I didn't mean a full-time housekeeper and full-time day nanny (or even a night nurse 7 days a week), but together their labor would equal a full-time job.

My oldest is in school until 3 pm (easy), and we have a 3 year old who is in preschool 3 mornings a week until noon, and a baby.  Housekeeper comes two days a week so on those days I can leave out breakfast dishes, leave beds unmade, etc, and she'll come and do laundry and clean.  Part-time nanny comes two days a week (sometimes three), so I can take 3 year old out to park and lunch one-on-one while baby is at home, or stay at home with baby and relax while 3 year old goes out to activity with nanny.  She will also clean up while I'm breastfeeding, or go get 3 year old from preschool if my youngest has been fussy and we need extra sleep.  In the afternoon the nanny helps on those days kids have afternoon activities (soccer, music lesson, etc) so I don't have to drag all three kids to these things, and more recently so 3 year old can do ballet while 5 year old has soccer.  Honestly I'm almost always WITH at least one child, usually two, when the nanny is around, though I try to take one afternoon a week to be alone, and DH and I have date night one a week as well.  The days the nanny isn't here I take baby and 3 year old to pick up 5 year old from school and we all come home together and have snack and play outside with the neighbors or just hang out.  I love those days but they are tiring and don't allow for much one-on-one time, and there are infinite scheduling conflicts between kids activities and doctor's appointments for them and me, so the additional help is much appreciated.

The delivered food is awesome but I actually love cooking and will certainly return to it when baby is older.

As other PPs have said, women used to have entire communities available to help them - they would trade childcare with the neighbors to go to the doctors, and older generations of women would help cook and clean.  That just doesn't exist anymore.  Yes, I can SAH with 3 kids and be just fine handling it all on my own - but it's back breaking work and it's much more enjoyable, and the kids get more opportunities and outings and one-on-one time when there's help involved.  I could easily take advantage of the help we have and spend my days doing nothing but shopping and going to the gym (and sometimes I think I should do both of those more) but I really enjoy being with my kids - I just don't need to be with all 3 all the time, while I cook and clean.[/quote]

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