Reply to Parents wanting to leave $1M home to sibling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents have a home that is worth about $1M in a vacation destination, no mortgage. They mentioned leaving it my older sister because she doesn't have a house and we already have one. My house still has a mortgage and won't be paid off for another 20 years. I think it's unfair that they would just give it to her outright and leave nothing for me. I would like it left to both of us. How can this be done with the least amount of trouble for our families? Like after we die, could it be divided equally to our children? She has 2 and I have 2. Also, I don't wouldn't want anyone to sell it and if it could be kept in the family as a vacation home or rental I think it would be nice for generations to enjoy. If it were left to my sister, I suspect she would just sell the home and use the money to purchase elsewhere. How could it be done, where it's kept in the family and everyone owns it equally? Anyone have good/bad stories about their experiences? [/quote]

It's their house and their choice!  You are jealous.[/quote]

Of course the OP is jealous, and I would be too. Not necessarily of the monetary value of the estate, but what it implies about the relationship. If one sibling has a great need and the parents frame it to the other siblings as such, fine. For example, I would have no issue if my parents left their entire estate to my sister whose daughter has severe special needs that will result in her needing care her entire life. I plan to leave my niece a chunk of my estate too. But if they were to split it equally between my brother (roughly same life circumstances as me) and my sister, and exclude me of course I would be hurt. I don't know what parents expect when they do this, and I don't know why people think it's odd/bad/selfish that the left out sibling is hurt. I don't care about the money, it's the feeling that they care more about other siblings than me.

If parents are going to inform their children about these kinds of splits ahead of time they should expect feedback - why else would they share before they die? If they don't want push back they should keep their mouths shut and the kids can find out when they read the will.[/quote]

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