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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I welcome all the advice and admonishment that has been given to me in this thread. Every poster is representing a point of view that is coming from their own experience in life, so I have not taken anything personally but tried to see if their suggestions or viewpoint will work for me with some adjustments.  This brainstorming has helped me a lot. I am certainly not continuing to be in the status quo, and some things are in the process of being changed.

IRL - I was given a good advice from my BFF today who is a very sage WOHM.  I need to take advice from someone whose life circumstances mimic my own more closely. I probably need to poll people who have taken early retirement in our income bracket; have HS/college kids who are still studying and elderly parents or familial obligations;  are married or in a relationship;  have socially-conscious causes and passions, and see how they are keeping active, busy, educated and relevant.

[/quote]

How old are you, Op?  What do you consider to be early retirement?  Obviously there is going to be a difference between retiring at 45 vs 55 vs 60.  As far as what I've seen young(ish) retirees doing to stay busy - they take over 55 classes at our nearby college, they join gyms, play golf, go RVing, travel, help out with grandchildren, do projects around their homes, garden, do animal rescue work/foster and other volunteering.  Honestly, the choices are endless.  You can absolutely stay busy even if you don't have kids at home.  If you do have HS/College kids then you are still actively parenting them - not in the same hands on way that you did when they were younger but you are keeping tabs on them, talking to them about any problems they may have and spending time with them.  If you have elderly parents, you are visiting them regularly and you have to be ready to be there for them when they need you.  I don't think you have to work to stay busy, active and engaged.

Think back to when your kids first started to go to school full day.  Do you remember how you thought you would have a ton of extra time to do all sorts of things and you wondered if you would be bored/lonely and how you would fill your day w/o the kids at home?  Then when the kids actually started going to school you found yourself incredibly busy - long deferred household projects that needed done, volunteering at the school and activities, fund raisers, helping the kids with homework, household chores, errands, pet care, exercise, friends, snow days, sick days, summer vacation, holidays, doctors appts, dental and orthodontics....maybe you spent time with your aging parents.  When you heard that question "What do you DO all day?" you think to yourself "Well, when I get a chance I'll sit down and list it out.  But right now I'm way to busy to do that!"

Now you are looking at your youngest leaving the nest to go away to college soon...and your back to wondering how on earth you're going to spend your day.  Will you bored and lonely without any kids at home?  What on earth are you going to do with yourself?  Answer: Just like you filled your time when the kids were at home/in school, you will fill your days once they are away at college.  Busy, engaged people tend to stay busy, engaged, and yes - relevant.  I think you are struggling with transitioning from SAHM to housewife. [b] You didn't quit working to become a housewife.  Therefore, it must be time to go back to work, right?  Well, as you've found out, maybe going back to work does not make you feel more "relevant".[/b]  Maybe it's better to continue to put your energy into your home, your family, your friends and your community through volunteer work.  Maybe having an empty nest isn't going to be as drastic as a change as you thought it might be.  Only time will tell.[/quote]

OP here.  If I could "heart" your post, I would!

I had originally posted this in the "Off topics" forum, because I thought it would be a triggering topic and really start a WOHM/SAHM debate. It was moved to the "Jobs and Career" forum and I cringed. Thankfully, the SAHM vs WOHM debate has not taken over this thread and most posts have provided me much food for thought.  I re-framed my question and made it more granular and specific after reading the many posts here, and that has helped the respondents IRL with more focused answers -

If I view my own SAHM years as a [u]"Job and Career" without any income[/u], but contributing to the following -
[i]1) Some tangible monetary, career gains and opportunities for my family members, 
2) Reducing stress and increasing the 'Happiness Index' for my family members
3) Allowing us to have flexibility and cushion to deal with family health, career or social crisis/needs,
4) Running smoothly the every-day domestic needs of food, shelter, clothing, socializing and general administrative/organizational work, allowing family members to have a stable base,[/i]  
- and being the fulfilled, reliable, invested and dedicated resource to do this work...what happens when I downsize from this "Job and Career"?

I would want to continue to be fulfilled, happy and invested in whatever I decide to do now with some of the time that will  be available to me. What I have flexibility with is that it is not being driven by monetary needs or relationship issues. A lot of what I am doing will continue even when kids leave the nest. So, I have realized that what I need now and a few years from now is  -
1) Socially relevant work, volunteerism, hobby  that brings value to my community and fulfills a need,
2) the work has to interest me, taps into my passions, makes use of my education and ability to organize
2) the work should be part time and flex time, tasks should be more  from a weekly perspective instead of daily perspective, 
3) Occasional travel and commute is a-ok, however, most work needs to be done remotely
4) Needs a social component where I am meeting people, at least some of the time
5) If I am paid for my time - I am ok with that.

As you can see, things are becoming more clear.  As for what is happening at the current job [b]is  something I cannot share[/b] because it will out me. There is a lot I have learned from  being in the workplace again and I cannot discount that at all. If this was an industry I wanted to continue in, I am very well placed right now.  If I was in my 20s-30s and not middle aged, I would have liked this job for its potential to be a springboard for better opportunities career-wise.
[/quote]

Op here. Meant to say "is something I cannot share".[/quote]

I don’t think anyone cares about the current job you are leaving. No one is going to give you a lead on a job that’s matched your parameters; read all the threads about moms looking  for part time work.  Almost UNIVERSALLY the path to that job is working full time for a significant period, proving your worth and competence, then negotiating into a part time/remote role. So you have to pay your dues at a 9-5 somewhere... now maybe this job has some special problem but your OP described disliking very mundane and common aspects of ‘working’ [/quote]

I think it's enough that Op knows now what she is looking for.  She may not find a meaningful PT job with flexible hours.  Honestly, if she just continues to SAH she can probably manage to tick off all of those boxes, she just won't get a paycheck for her work.[/quote]

yeah I am not sure why she keeps posting more details, it seems pretty clear that a hobby/volunteer route is the way to go.

For some reason she wants a different answer I guess, though my impression is she has no need for the money?[/quote]

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