Reply to I think I regret having kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids are grown.  I loved raising them, and am very proud of them.  I never had a regret.  It was a choice.[/quote]

Funny how it's only the parents of grown kids expressing this sentiment. May we all be blessed with bad memories! [/quote]

I have a four year old and a three week old and I love the experience so far.  OF COURSE it's tough sometimes but it doesn't mean I regret the decision or resent the kids. It's also a whole lot of fun. I think it comes down to expectations. I didn't expect my life wouldn't change drastically.
i agree with the PP above - it was a choice.
[/quote]

I knew having children would change my life drastically, but it turns out I’m not cut out to be a parent. Obviously had I known this I wouldn’t have had kids.[/quote]

Why do you say that? Are you not fulfilling some socially imposed standard for "good" parenting, like spending absolutely all your time with kids and sacrificing all of your own needs?

Or are you providing a safe, nurturing environment (including food, shelter and affection) to your kids? If so, you're doing great. There is no single best way to parent and the modern American trend of "competitive parenting" is full of BS standards and advice. [/quote]
 
I’m majorly lacking in the nurturing aspect. I love them and show lots of affection but they are so challenging and I frequently snap at them. I’m probably not a particularly secure attachment for them. [/quote]

NP and I think you should reconsider this. If your kids are misbehaving at home, they feel safe around you and will absolutely do their worst when you’re around. They know you love them, and that’s what they need for a secure attachment, along with just being there consistently to meet their needs. It sounds like you’re doing that, and that you (like all of us!) struggle sometimes and get frustrated. I’ve had my days of feeling like I’m not cut out to be a mom, but really I don’t know if anyone is cut out for today’s competitive mothering, and I think my kid will be just fine in the end which means I’m a “good enough” mom. [/quote]

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