Reply to Nytimes: I’ve picked my job over my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven’t met her kids, so I really can’t judge. They may be flexible and happy being cared for by grandma and dad and aftercare and camp. I was a sensitive and anxious child, and one of mine is similar, and this arrangement would have been a nightmare. But I know kids who live with dads or grandparents full-time, so obviously a caretaker doesn’t have to be a mother. In some countries 10-year-olds are sent to boarding school. There is no normal, just what your finances allow and what lets you sleep at night.

But I disagree with those who have complained that we would never judge a man who is a father and is never home. I think that if he were the sole caretaker and his absence meant the children had no parent at home for long stretches, we absolutely would judge him. This just virtually never happens. [b]We’re fine with workaholic men because we assume there is a mom spending time with the kids. But if you work 12 hours a day and are the caretaker and travel a lot, most people would judge you for getting a dog, much less a child.[/b][/quote]

The whole “you wouldn’t say that to a man” crowd doesn’t seem to get that no one judged high achieving men for their professional accomplishments because those men had wives at home who handled everything. [/quote]

uhh ... no, we get that. [/quote]

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