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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there a realistic way for a man to approach his wife that he is feeling sexually neglected that doesn't come off as whiny, or another thing on his wife's to do list?

I have never found any approach to be successful.  It's usually met with some statement that our sex life is fine, that 1x per week is better than most married men get (we don't do it that often, and if I point that out, aren't I those lame men who keep track?)

If this is just as good as it gets and talking only makes it worse, would be good to know so I am not making it worse by bringing it up.[/quote]

Approach this from the point of view that you are unhappy with the relationship and (to you) having a regular sex life (2 or 3 per week) is a deal breaker. She will not prioritize this unless you give her a reason to do so, such as saving her marriage. Once per week is NOT better than most married men get, and you certainly did not marry her with this expectation or relationship history. Ask her what changes are necessary for her to want to resume an active sex life with you. All you can do is ask, and she might say no. Then your choices are to open the marriage or to divorce her.  [/quote]

I would file for divorce a week after that conversation.[/quote]
And I would call this a successful outcome since you clearly don’t want an active sexlife and so would be incompatible as a wife.  Better for each of you to find a new partner who is compatible with your low drive and his normal drive.[/quote]

No I’m high drive. But I don’t have sex with an a-hole.

So I would find a better more compatible partner and my new partner would get sex 2-3 times a week.

He of course will find a young chick who wants kids and will eventually be in the same situation. Win-lose [/quote]

This thread doesn’t apply to high drive women who want sex multiples per week. So why are you here? Husbands who aren’t sexually frustrated like OP would not be unhappy in the relationship in the first place, so no need to explain about deal breakers, and the whole cycle above would never occur. [/quote]

Ok did not say his wife is low drive. You just assume that. Maybe she is busy with two young daughters and working late hours.I

We all go through ebbs and and flows.

He gets it 1x a week stop acting like this is a sexless marriage.[/quote]

OP feels sexually neglected and his wife just shuts down conversation, claiming their sex life is fine (which is less LESS than 1X per week). She’s not calling him an a-hole, or to help more with the daughters, or that her late work hours are the problem, or any other indication that she’s actually highly drive and wants to resume having more sex (like before) so here are things he can do to help make that possible. No, she’s told him to JUST DEAL and makes irrelevant (and untrue) statement about what other married men “get”.

Let’s review the facts: married couple used to have sex several times per week. Wife loses interest and rejects him. Now it’s less than weekly. Husband feels neglected. Wife (instead of telling him the specific actionable reasons for her reduced interest, with a path to resuming a normal active sex life) she won’t even acknowledge there is any problem.

Remind me who’s the a-hole?

[/quote]

Are you practicing writing fiction?

What we know is OP has not discussed it because he came here ask how to discuss it.

None of the above is even true... you just made it up. Hi Donald! [/quote]

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