Reply to How terrible will it be to be away from my 1 year old daughter at Christmas? I am regretting things

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW here who, if the situation were that same, would probably prefer my H went to his family reunion and I stayed local.

OP - part of growing up is realizing you can’t get everything you want.

Your wife doesn’t want to travel with a 13 month old at Christmas (completely fair decision), be glad she’s confident enough in your relationship that she’s okay  with you missing Christmas. .   Your daughter won’t notice, so it’s about you, not your daughter, not your wife.  So you have to pick, it’s not fair to guilt your wife into going.

We did a reasonable amount of traveling with our child when she was under 2 (and still do), and from being very mobile (walking, basically) to 2.5 was the hardest, especially with long flights.   Traveling at Christmas sucks no matter what the circumstances.   Coming back from a week vacation, that you don’t have vacation time for, exhausted, and jumping back into work/parenting, sounds awful.  These are all likely reasons your wife doesn’t want to go.  [/quote]

All of this. Ignore the doomsday poster, OP. I come from a big, fun family (woman here). I totally get why you want to go, and you should! And I totally get why your wife would rather stay home. I'm the PP who has walked miles outside restaurants while family had dinners, missed out on bars because I had to go put kids to bed. I'm the oldest cousin and was the first to have kids. I guarantee you that you will have more fun without your wife and kid. And your wife will be happier at home rather than dealing with the kid and travel.

"Everyone will be around to help." No, they won't. They all have good intentions, but at the end of the day no one wants to miss out on the fun to watch your kid. So no, your dad will it skip the trip the the bar for HH so you can go.

"We'll be in a big house, baby can sleep in another room and we can socialize." Yeah, enjoy constantly reminding your big fun family to keep their voices down while playing cards against humanity, after you spent an hour trying to get baby to sleep in  a pack and play she's not used to. And trying to keep your kid quiet and occupied from 6am - 9am when all the hungover people wake up.

OP, I could go on. I have BTDT. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. If your wife is cool with you going, go and have fun. It will definitely be easier for her to stay home with the kid. Your current plan is honestly the ideal solution. Celebrate Xmas another day - your daughter will have no idea.[/quote]

This.  All of this.  It will not be fun for your wife to take this trip, because you will not want to be left out when everyone else wants to go skiing, or out for a long, relaxed dinner, or drinking beer at that cool new brewpub, or whatever.  And you won't want to be dealing with your jet-lagged, tired toddler who can't sleep because the house is full and loud, or who gets up at the crack of dawn and you have to keep her quiet so as not to wake up the sleeping adults.  Gets old fast.  I mean, I wouldn't make a habit of trips like this, but your kid doesn't understand Christmas AT ALL, so this is about you and your wife and what you guys want, and if you are both genuinely okay with it, then do it.  Don't, however, do it you are secretly hoping she'll change her mind or resenting her for not wanting to come.  [/quote]

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