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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

What did you mean then when you said a mom was losing her identity because she hadn’t gone to an adult concert or had a beer without keeping one eye on a toddler?  Maybe you were trying to be kind, but it sounded pretty snarky to me.  [/quote]

Stop twisting people's words. Not a single person said a parent might lose her identity if she doesn't go to concerts or drinks. What is with your focus on those two activities? Parents can do a lot of things and the need to emphasize self sacrifice or martyrdom is unnecessary. Obviously there are major life changes, but there's a big spectrum between acting like a teenager and organizing your entire life around your child. [/quote]

I am not twisting anyone's words.  This is EXACTLY what someone said earlier in this quote tree.  I understand that people are probably just being snarky and don't really believe that someone is pathetic or lost his/her identity by not going on date nights for a few years.  Putting most of your energy into raising your children when they are young isn't pathetic.  It's responsible and wonderful.  Really the opposite of pathetic.   
If you really meant something else, then fine.  Write something else.  But this is what was said.

"I cried last week when my husband returned from a business trip (four hours of sweet silence each way on the Acela) and casually showed me video of some dumb Grateful Dead cover band playing in a bar he’d gone to after his meetings. I can’t remember the last time I was at a bar, or saw live music that wasn’t kid-themed, or had a beer without one eyeball following a toddler around the room. "

-- "This is pathetic.  Stop being a mommy martyr."

"It's a stage of life pp.  They aren't little forever and you do get your freedom back eventually.  Dh & I really didn't need to go out on date nights because once the kids were sleeping through the night we would put them to bed (7pm) and have the rest of the evening together." 
       
              --"Good job losing your identity!!!"
  
  
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