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[quote=Anonymous]Wow - thank you for sharing this. It describes my relationship to a T. A few years ago I started making my own dinner reservations for the family and buying my own birthday cake just so there would be something to mark the occasion. For mother's day yesterday I made the dinner reservations. My husband tends to go along grudgingly, so even though I'm taking charge of my own celebration and doing things I like to do, it feels empty because he is sending the signal that it's burdensome or pointless.

[quote=Anonymous]This is a must read for those who never get much if anything from their husbands on special days like Mother's Day or Birthdays. It is something I came across when researching to get some info to help a friend in crisis.

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[b]Mommy’s Birthday Doesn’t Matter[/b]

We can look at birthdays to explore the dynamics common to interactions between partners in an ASD/NT couple. When he does not acknowledge her birthday, and she asserts that his behavior has upset her, he may respond that he did not mean to upset her; therefore, she shouldn’t be upset. Or he might tell her that because birthdays come once year and everyone has them, they are no big deal and she should stop making such a big deal about them. Or he could tell her they celebrated her birthday last year. Or that birthdays are for children. In other words, he may hold her to the same idea regarding birthdays he holds himself. He may criticize her to the degree that her feelings about birthdays differ from his. He will miss her distress.[...][/quote][/quote]

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