Reply to DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?

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Reply to "DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - as trite as it sounds, the only thing you can control is how you react to his not being involved with the family.

It could be he can’t break away for 5 minutes because he has another 45 minutes to get something tedious done, and if he stops it’ll take him another 10 minutes to get back in the groove.  It could be that he, incorrectly, feels like he can’t stop for 5-10 minutes because he’ll get in trouble with the client/partner.   It could be that family stuff is harder than work for him, so he uses work as an excuse.    It’s likely a combination of all three.

My suggestion would be to just assume he’s not available at all during the week and only for half a day on the weekend to take the kids somewhere.   Hire help if you need it. If after a few months you’re still (understandably) resentful let him know that either things need to change (setting boundaries at work, new job, pushing back at work, etc). or you’re leaving.  If you’re divorced, he may actually end up spending more time with the kids.  Not as much as he would if he worked 40 hours and was home for dinner every night,  but more than now.

Because in my experience as a senior associate in Big Law, is if they are going to fire you because you take one or two evenings off a week to have dinner with you’re family, you’re not essential to the practice (because they have another associate who will step in) and there for you aren’t likely to make partner, because you’re not essential to the practice.  [/quote]

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