Reply to DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP.  I just want to know when things will get better. For years I have been operating like a single parent during the week.  DH doesn't help the kids in the morning (I let him wake up whenever he wants to), he doesn't help in the evenings (he comes home between 8:30-9:00pm).  On weekends he is more involved. He will play games with the kids and take them to sports practice. We rarely do any family activities other than go out to lunch or brunch a few times a year. [b] For years, I have taken kids on weekend outings, trips and visits to my family (DH will only come done for 1 night on major holidays). We never go out  together and he doesn't like to socialize much with other families or couples.  [/b] Just wondering what's the point of living this kind of life?[/quote]

How old are your kids?  Also, please realize  there are lots of families that don’t take the kids on weekend outings and lots of trips.  My parents didn’t have that kind of time or money.  The first time we stayed in a hotel as a family was for my first cousins’s wedding and I was 16 ...and we drove there.  My DH and are in a better financial situation and have flexible jobs - but even with that the LAST thing either of us wants to do is come up with something to do on a weekend where we can finally just be.  We work socializing with other families into kid activities and school events or we plan to meet up with our friends on our own.  Then again we are more social introverts that need down time so some of your list of what’s wrong with your DH wouldn’t even make me blink.

Your DH not handling morning drop off when he can - now that would have been the hill I would die on because I believe very strongly it’s hard to even quasi split child rearing responsibilities when you both work if one person literally has all the responsibility for logistics during the work week. Whichever part of the equation you get, it forces you to step up and be responsible for basic things like waking up early on a schedule, feeding your children, and getting them to or from daycare or school.It also helps bond you with your kids and allows you to be fully in charge without micromanagement from your partner.  To put it this way, if you have less responsibility for your own child, than you would have for your dog, there is fundamental problem that I wouldn’t enable.  I also wonder if this is the battle you need to focus on.  Say he did more of the fundamental responsibility with the kids.  Would you still be so angry about him not taking vacations and weekend trips?[/quote]

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