Reply to Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms

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Reply to "Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms—It Happened to Me Too"

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother is a pro at cutting people out of her life.  She could gold medal in it.

First there was my biological father:  he was an alcoholic and abused her.  They got married young.  And divorced right after I was born.

When I was little, she married my dad.  She knew him for 6 months and he lived in another country.  She did not tell my biological dad that she was getting married and leaving the country.

She never got along with her in-laws.  According to her they never liked her, they were always looking for ways to slight her, etc.  My mom's favorite thing to say when people don't like you, they are just jealous.  Over time we spent less and less time with them.

In my teens we had to cut off an uncle and an aunt because the uncle was having some issues and he had a disagreement with my grandmother.  This estrangement lasted until my uncle died and then my mom ended up taking care of my aunt in her final years.

My mother never maintains friendships for long (aside from a childhood friend and a friend from college).  Everyone else she either alienates or she lets the friendship die.

Before my grandmother died, she was cut off as was my mother's brother at the same time.  There's more to the story, but I'm tired of typing.

My mother is extremely good at manipulating me.  I'm embarrassed to admit this as I'm in my early 50's.  I'm extremely cautious in what I share with my mother.  She frequently complains I tell her nothing, but I edit what I share.

My mother never likes when I have friends -- she will make digs about how family is more important than friends, etc.

And yet, I can't cut her off.  It seems so cruel.  Not to mention she would probably hunt me down (sort of joking).[/quote]

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