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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,

I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I too, have been there. These next months are going to be the worst of your life.  Please get outside help, even if that means confiding in someone that this happened.  Not sleeping or eating only makes things worse.

As for your question for the why - it took my husband [b]almost 7 months[/b] of counseling to figure it out.  It was infuriating and I was ready to leave him.  Not because of his one night stand, but because he couldn't tell me why.  Without the why, I didn't feel safe that he wouldn't do it again. Essentially, the previous poster nailed it on the head. Emotional immaturity and an inability to deal with the present and an ability to delve off into a fantasy world.  Also, the ability to compartmentalize the 2.  In my DH's case, he had several life shattering events happen in a short period that lead him to seek out the high that came from the newness of someone else.  The most important part of the why here is that HE came to this conclusion on his own.  Only then were we able to rebuild our life.  And we're still working on it.  And I'm still not sure I'll ever trust him again.  But I have too many reasons to at least try.

Good luck, OP.  I feel for you.

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