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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I’ve seen pictures and lots of personal info about the woman. She has a blog and shares a lot of stuff about her family...I don’t know if knowing all that is helpful or not. It definitely makes me feel like shit.  I believe that it was a one night stand (based on texts), but don’t know why he would do it.  [b]“Why” is the hardest part—am I going to feel better if he finally says, “I did it because I’m tired of you” or “I did it because I’m a huge jerk and don’t care about you at all”? There’s really no good to come of it.[/b]

As for the condom question: when I wrote that bit, I was wondering where the box of condoms was (because he said he used one) not meaning that I had the box and more than one was missing. He says he threw the rest away before he came home...I don’t know if that’s the truth or not.[/quote]

For me, the why would matter in order to know the person really is remorseful about the action, not necessarily just remorseful about the consequence.  Also that the person has the self-awareness to understand where it was coming from in order to handle it differently in the future.  If it’s really because he is tired of you or is a huge jerk and doesn’t care about you, wouldn’t you rather know that than spend energy potentially trying to save the marriage, having joint finances and this person having life or death decisions over your health should you be unable to communicate your wishes?   You may feel like it’s you why he cheated but why he cheated has more to do about him and how he handles his emotions.  You don’t deserve this, and yet you have to deal with it as if someone left a steaming pile of crap on your front doorstep. You may feel powerless and like you don’t have a choice as you wait to see how things go and if he is really being truthful but realize everything is a choice even if you choose to do nothing right now.[/quote]

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