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[quote=Anonymous]I haven’t read the whole thread but will share my personal anecdotal experience because DCUM.

My MIL lives with us. She’s mid-60s, works four days a week, helps immensely with our kids and some other things. It’s hard to live with any other adult so there are speed bumps, but as a whole, I’m grateful to have her around. And she’s foreign-born, imagine that! She’s not weird. She doesn’t meddle (usually). She minds her own business. She’s very sane and has normal human faults. Now, WHY is she not weird? I think a big part is she comes from a much more familial, communal culture. Another part is she enormously values what she gets from our arrangement.

My mom is batsh** crazy. Part of this is various illnesses, but more of it is she is crazy and weird. And she’s a highly respected professional! But she unravels more and more every month and year. She is distant but chimes in random advice/things/beliefs although she generally does not insert herself. Now, WHY is she crazy? Because she spent her life being a resentful “wage slave” funding her family’s existence even though she is extraordinarily driven in her career and she chose to have kids with someone she knew would never be a breadwinner. She chose to put us through school (to the detriment of her retirement, I’ve since learned). Because she is losing her once-significant power as she ages, especially in the workplace. Because she’s sick. Because she knows she’s running out of time to do whatever she wants and yet she’s still, for reasons old and new, held back from doing whatever she wants. Probably other reasons I have no clue about because who knows what goes on in that crazy head of hers.  She likes to wake up my dad in the middle of the night by barking and growling. On purpose. There is just no explanation for that flavor of weird old lady.

Please forgive typos, on my phone...[/quote]

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