Reply to Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason

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Reply to "Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.[/quote]

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views? 
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child? 
I would politely request that you please return to your country. [/quote]

Pearl-clutching....yawn..........[/quote]

Meh. DP here.  I don't think I have it in me to love a child as a grandchild who is not biologically from my kids.  Am I capable of being nice and kind to kids? Sure. I do it all the time.  Similarly, I am kind and nice to many children, but I love my own kids with my heart and soul. There is a difference.

Besides,[b] every single member of my family for generations[/b] married one person and remained married to that person for their entire life. There was no divorce, bastards and [b]premarital sex[/b], though I am sure there was cheating, unhappiness and infertility at times.  So if someone in this day and age of various kinds of BC option available had sex and did not protect themselves from getting pregnant, I would think that they are pretty low class.

OP should rephrase this title - boyfriend broke up with me and I think my being a single mom and uneducated were the reasons.

[/quote]

You're nuts if you think every single person in your lineage abstained from premarital sex. [/quote]

DP.  My parents came from a culture in which people marry relatively young (like 20s) and the expectation is that people will abstain from pre-marital sex and you know what?  I think most people actually fulfill that expectation, particularly women.  Definitely not all men but a lot.  In the past when the genders were pretty much kept separated until marriage I think it wasn't such a "difficult" task, and I think cultural expectation and shame are really powerful in some societies, particularly on women.[/quote]

There is a real "achievement gap" in this country. Certain races and certain SES have less unmarried moms and teenage pregnancies. Whereas people in low SES households, low education and certain racial groups are A-ok with having kids out of wedlock.  It really makes sense that teh boyfriend broke up with OP. They seemed mismatched in their education, morals, culture and SES. [/quote]

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