Reply to Unfair monetary treatment between me and step-siblings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
As much as some on DCUM want to push the narrative that we are all one big happy blended family the truth is that family members do distinguish between bio/step/half/adopted children and one category can be favored over another by parents, grandparents, siblings and other familiy members well into adulthood.

As for this story:

- Your mom knows full well that her step children aka her husband's bio kids/grandkids are getting million dollar gifts and you aka her bio children are getting the dollar store stuff.

- Your stepfather knows this as well.

-Your mom is not oblivious or dumb to the $$ disparities. She doesn't want to mess up her meal ticket in your step father.

-She is including you in the $$ present picking as her way to ease her guilt from the disparities and excuse herself from any fault in the matter and has convinced herself that you are fine with it because you go along with the present picking and listen to the stories.

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I'm the non-bio grandkids PP. Thank you for this. I don't know why DCUM pushes this "everyone is equal" narrative. If it didn't work for Communism, it's not working for individual families. Just because one of our sons was married to a woman who already had 4 kids by three different dads, doesn't make them our grandkids. Yes, we take them out when they visit but they shouldn't expect a single cent from our estate. I don't think why people consider this hurtful but it's the truth. [/quote]

Wow, you punish the children for the perceived sins of their parents.  Wow. [/quote]

How is the PP punishing the children? They don't get anything extra. If the son marries three different times and all of his wives have three kids, is PP supposed to be including all of them in her will? Not sure if you're on top of current affairs, but the divorce rate in this country is 50%. Stepgrandkids are no longer related should the marriage break up, which is very often. But the bio grandkids will always be in the picture because of kinship. So it makes sense to just focus their efforts and resources on them. SMH all these pearl clutchers.[/quote]

PP leaps to the will question but her original claim is that she doesn't give gifts to her bio grandchildren to avoid a guilt trip for not purchasing for the non bio grandchildren.

Wills are complicated and personal and no one has to know about it until you die. They remember how you were in real life to soothe any wounds the will creates. PP will apparently have a pack of grandkids, some bio, some not, all of whom will have been neglected by their grandparents. PP says that she deprives all of her grandkids of presents in order to stick it to the non bio grandkids.

PP is truly a horrible person. I wonder how many people will show up to the will reading or the funeral when she and her stingy anti blended family self have departed. Maybe they just won't care since PP has been so absent and crotchety. [/quote]

This is the horrible person PP. At least DH and I are true to ourselves and don't believe in appearances. If we have been gifting unequally such as in the case of OP's, then look at the resentment it breeds. I don't know why you are riled up by my posts. I have just been saying like it is, but you have never explained why I am obliged to gift anything to a child who isn't related to me.[/quote]

I'm not the PP you have been arguing with. I'm new. More than one of us thinks you are horrible. And yes, maybe better to be horrible out in the open then horrible in your heart and hide it. Is that the argument you are making? I think you could argue both sides of that actually but I'm happy enough to give you credit for being an out in the open horrible person rather than a horrible lurker.

The fact that you think the rest of us only do it to 'keep up appearances' is the problem. If a stranger was bringing their child to christmas at my house, I would have a gift for that child. Maybe not anything big, but something. I would do that because I'm a nice person and think doing nice things for people and especially children at Christmas is fulfilling and the right thing to do. You don't HAVE to give anyone anything, as you clearly have proven by choosing to give nobody anything. But nice kind loving people are not baffleled by the concept of getting christmas/birthday presents for children who are a part of your son's family and who, in your son's mind, are a part of YOUR family. Are you cutting him out of your will so he can't possibly leave a cent to these mudbloods?

I'm the child of divorce. I had a step grandparent like you. I never really wanted anything from them other than to be treated like a human being, but they treated me like a dog after their money. Luckily my stepfather treated me just like a daughter, so I wasn't scarred by it but I remember it. They were unkind people. Not because they didn't get me presents, but because it was impossible for them to love me, a child their son had taken on from age 2, because I was not 'blood'. I had other step grandparents that welcomed me from day 1. We are not super super close, and I doubt I'll be in their will, at least not specifically although perhaps eventually through my stepmom, but it doesn't matter. They are kind and loving and great people and we are always so happy to see each other when we do. I may not be exactly the same, but I am, unequivocally, part of the family. You can choose to be the kind of person that fosters love in your family, or the kind of person who fosters divisions. You are clearly the latter, you should not be surprised if some of the 'blood' people decide that some of the outsiders, with their kindness and loving spirit, are their REAL family. That is the real result of division, forcing people to pick sides, and being disappointed when less people choose you than you thought. [/quote]

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