Reply to What would you do if your DH or DW gained over 100 lbs during your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Remember:  A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.[/quote]
Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.[/quote]

My fat husband gets laid regularly and spectacularly. By me. Enthusiastically. Sucks to be you.[/quote]

Different strokes for different folks. The thought of having sex with a fat person is not something I’m enthusiastic about because I’m not attracted to fat.[/quote]

The thread is about weight GAINED during a marriage. Unless he was thin and sweet when you got married, I fail to see how your taste in fat guys is relevant to this discussion.[/quote]

Because the thread asked about how you would feel if spouse gained 100lbs. My taste or lack thereof in fat guys means I would not be enthusiastic or excited to have sex with my spouse. I did not marry someone overweight or obese. If he becomes fat, I won’t be as attracted to him. Clearer?[/quote]

Yeah, gotcha.  Hopefully this will never, ever be an issue for either one of you because, quite frankly, I doubt that your marriage would survive it.[/quote]

Interestingly enough, my spouse did gain about 50lbs a few years ago. And no he did not have a health issue beyond being sedentary and eating cheese-its.  I have PCOS so I have to work really hard to be active and watch what I eat to control it (metformin makes me very sick so I don’t take it). I encouraged DH to take his health more seriously so he could be around for the kids and do it without being a type two diabetic like his dad. And he did lose the weight in his own time over the next year. He now walks 20,000 steps a day, rides the peloton once a week, and doesn’t eat as much junk. Were we having enthusiastic sex during this time? No. Did our marriage survive it? Yes. We’ve also survived years of infertility for both of our children, job losses, in-law drama, and the like over the last decade. You don’t have to leave someone or be cruel about things but you can be honest and work through it.[/quote]

He took off 50 pounds in under a year.  Good for him.  If you love someone you don't kick them to the curb over 50 lousy pounds.  This stuff can be easily changed in a relatively short amount of time if people keep their heads together and resist making it an emotionally charged issue.  He is still the same guy you fell in love with - both before and after his weight loss.

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