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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My hope everyone would be adult enough to work within the custody agreement so that, for example, a dad could spend an extra day here or there with his kids.[/quote]

The original rhetorical question, if it was you, was "what is preventing your exDH (or child's father) from spending time with his kid and giving you some free time?" as if the man had some obligation to do this and would be unreasonable to refuse. If she asks nicely and he is willing to, that's fine, but he has no obligation to do so, and she should not assume that he will when she makes her plans.

[quote]Some what? Some more free time? He should be willing to trade time with her subject to the understanding that she would give up some free time we he needed her to do so. [/quote]

No. They made a schedule. She agreed to it. She should stick to it. Among other things, you want to keep things stable for the kids. If they expect mom to be home with them on Friday, then she should be home. If she says she has to work late on an important project, that is another matter, and even then, you are not [i]required [/i]to agree. But, if she says "hey can you drop everything you want to do so I can go date some guy I met on Tinder" his answer should be eff off, do that on your own non-custodial day.

You assume that his free time is less valuable than hers. It isn't, and no exDH will see it that way.

[quote]He should. Few men have the kids for greater periods of time than their former wifes so it is likely he already has time. [/quote]

And guess what, if she has more custodial time and he has less custodial time, most likely [i]she demanded that during the divorce[/i]. She made her bed, let her sleep in it. If she wants the majority of the custodial time [i]and [/i]wants him to give up his free time so she can date, his answer should be sorry, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

[quote]He could work with her (BTW - you do not "babysit" your own kids) so that she would take them when he needs it. Who cares what she does with her time? I could not care any less if my exDW banged the entire Redskins team along with the entire Cowboys team when the Cowboys came to town. It is called "divorce" for a reason and being bitter about her sex life is sign you are not over her. [/quote]

Yes, it is called divorce for a reason. One of its consequences is that he no longer has any incentive or obligation to "work with her" beyond what the legally binding agreement specifies. He does not need to do her any favors, and if he doesn't want to, she has no basis for complaint. It does not mean he is "bitter" and "not over her" if he says she can only date on days she does not have custody. She can do whatever she wants on her non-custodial days; she does not get to re-arrange his calendar for her convenience. That's what it means to be divorced.

[quote]If I wanted more time with kids (when it worked within everyone's schedule) and she wanted a night without them (to bang whomever), why would I care as long she would do the same for me when I need a night without them? Maybe I need a night to bang the Redskins/Cowboy cheerleading teams and she would take the kids on my night since I did the same for her. I assure, my exDW does not care at all what I do with my time as well. [/quote]

Are you sure she would do the same for you? If things were that amicable and cooperative, why did you get divorced in the first place? I can see this easily becoming a habit for her that she takes your flexibility for granted, and then later she gets all pissy when you finally put your foot down and say no. It is better and easier to not even go down that road. Let everyone live up to the agreement they signed, period.

[/quote]

Frankly, you just sound like you don't want to spend any time with your kids at all. Babysitting your own kids? SMH.[/quote]

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