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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel for you op. People act like what until you pay off student loans to have kids. Infertility is real. In my office of women lawyers, every single one of them over 35 is having trouble. We are super close so I know they’ve been trying and the troubles they’ve had. I went to a top 25 law school with partial scholarships and then into government and Dh went into non-profit (no loans for him). We are from the south so we started trying for a child at 26. Infertility. Didn’t see that one coming. Luckily, we didn’t wait until mid to late thirties so we had plenty of time to try everything we could before resorting to IVF. Then I went into private practice to try to pay off my loan faster. Worst mistake of my life. I won’t go into all the horrors of my law firm but if I could do it all over again, I would not have gone into private practice. All your problems are not magically solved if you go into private practice that’s for sure. Good luck. [/quote]
True, but then you have to live with a lot of debt. You have to pick and choose what you can live with.  For most of us, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

I had my first at 35 and second at 38, so it's not like I don't know about waiting to have kids.  And I'm not a lawyer.[/quote]

And I never said you could have it all. It’s just people willy nilly push waiting to have kids and with their kind of debt it may not be so easy.
Even though the DC area doesn’t believe it, fertility is on a finite timeline! She’s getting hounded for having kids and not waiting which is crazy to me.[/quote]

Plenty of people have kids in modest apartments, condos and town homes. Do you get it?[/quote]

People don't go to law school to live in modest apartments. Do you get it.[/quote]

Np. But in this case, they should! [/quote]

Then all that sacrifice, had work is all for nothing.

At the end of the day, there has to be some point, no?
[/quote]

You know what? Sure. Live in a prime location now; you deserve it. Lease that fancy car now; you deserve it!

Later...be saddled with debt for life, die destitute, and leave your children with nothing but resentment and the burden of your care. Leave this world in debt and nothing to show for your work. You deserve it. [/quote]

You sound really angry. Why does someone else enjoying life irritate you so?

Perhaps you were once in the same boat as op and followed your own advice? It would make me miserable too  :cry: [/quote]

I'm the PP you are responding to, and I am far from miserable. I make $110K working at a university, and I leave every day at 4:30 p.m. My husband makes 6 figures working for the DC government, and he his home for dinner every night at 6:30. We have a great daycare for our two girls which is costly, but worth every penny. We have more than $250K each in retirement accounts; I'm 38, he's 43. We have at least another $60K in emergency savings/easy-to-access investments, and $20K for each child in college accounts. Our only debt is our 4-bedroom, 3-level home in a nice Maryland suburb. We love our home and our neighbors. Our public schools are good, and we will have the option for private school when it comes time to make that decision. We go on nice-but-not-fancy vacations; we drive nice-but-not-fancy cars. We go out when we want to, we buy clothes and furniture and experiences when we want to--that being said, we prefer a more modest lifestyle.

I sleep well at night, knowing that I'm debt-free and have a nice cushion. As someone who works closely with world-renowned economists, let me tell you; a significant recession is coming in the 2030s.

I've never been in debt, because my focus is on security and freedom, not in keeping up with the Joneses or living some fantasy lifestyle that I've fooled myself into thinking I'm entitled to.[/quote]

Who helped you buy the house in the nice suburb? Also - is it in PG county where the taxes are lower? 
What kind of 6 figures does your DH make? 200k? 300k?
What fantasy life is OPnliving exactly? She has a townhouse with day care and student loan bills with nothing left over. It sounds like your graduate school was instead funded for you which is the difference. It also sounds like you probably had family help too. Did you enjoy writing your arrogant self important ditty? You are insufferable and ridiculouscst the same time which I can understand given that you work in academia (though saying that ‘economists’ predict a recession in the year 2030 is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard and I do wonder if you are smoking away from of your savings in your free time). [/quote]

No one helped us buy our house. We did this neat thing called SAVING for a down payment. We did this other neat thing called buying where we could afford—Anne Arundel County.

My grad school was not “funded for me”—it was a benefit of me working for a university. I could earn more in another sector, but tuition benefit was compelling. But guess what? If I couldn’t have afforded grad school or gotten a benefit/scholarship, I *wouldn’t have gone to grad school.* See how that works?[/quote]

PP is absolutely right. You are miserable. Your angry and judgmental tone gives it away despite your statements otherwise. Given your statements about the economists and 2030 recession, you’re obviously crazy too. I don’t understand people like you who say they have a wonderful life and love their neighbors blah blah and are so gleefully harsh and judgmental towards people like OP. I say this as someone younger than you but with significantly higher HHI and assets.

OP, by most accounts, is successful. She has a house, kids, and a reasonably well paying job. Her student loans are the main issue and, like others have mentioned, I blame this country’s government and higher education system which give out federal loan money like candy so students can lock themselves into paying for a subpar, overpriced education, and suffer to pay the piper later.[/quote]

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