Reply to Moms trying to orchestrate their kids social standing

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Moms trying to orchestrate their kids social standing "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

[b]This isn't a sufficiently nuanced perspective and is the perspective of a parent, not someone who is a teacher or administrator of a middle school. [/b]

PP quoted and I wrote from the heart both as a parent and my direct experience with elementary, middle and high schoolers. Your assumptions about me  are inaccurate and your conclusions naive. [/quote][/quote][/quote]

Okay, then, tell me precisely what was inaccurate about what I wrote, like I did for you.  I suspect you can't because you carry around a movie-model of middle school that doesn't mirror real life, and I suspect your "direct experience" with tweens and teens is that your own children occasionally had friends over. You do not write like someone who professionally works with teens day in and day out. But I will give you a chance. What, exactly, was incorrect about what I wrote? The fact you didn't bother with the substance of my post -- I suspect because you can't -- tells me that you don't like the fact that people with real boots on the ground in middle schools would roll their eyes at your 80s movie description of the middle school world.

In my view, the ones who are naive are the DCUM parents who think that because their child isn't "popular" the child isn't capable of destructive behaviors. You think your unpopular child isn't bullying, isn't experimenting with sexual behaviors? That's only a "popular" kid thing? You are just blind.[/quote]
-------------------------------------------------------
and I suspect your "direct experience" with tweens and teens is that your own children occasionally had friends over.

You are incorrect. My tweens and teens more than occasionally had and have friends over. Hadn't even considered that as part of my experience, so let's add that, too. And, to be honest our children's friends often need to pack a bag. We've had several spend vacations home and away with us. I've done before and after school care for friends in need for entire school years. I've taught. I've tutored. I've substituted. It may surprise you to know that I'm working in a middle school this year, part time. I think I have a pretty good, current perspective. I was simply trying to convey per OP that mothers (and it's always mothers) who attempt to micromanage or socially engineer a child's "popularity" are heading down a dangerous road. Be careful what you wish for in the truest sense of the phrase.

Yes, I know and am acutely aware that even the "quirky" (and I detest that word) kids get into trouble, popularity is fleeting and being popular can be, doesn't always mean something negative, but that parents need to understand. It's not as simple as it once was. It's okay not be be popular if the peer group deemed such is into things that would alarm you. That's all.

Parents are in denial, too. Thanks for the reminder that just because your kid is painfully shy or academically focused or has never had a behavior problem, that you can be assured that he/she can do no wrong. Parents need to make the effort to supervise, discipline, set boundaries and expectations and for heavens sake, just talk to your children even as and especially when they are preteens. I absolutely love working with middle schoolers and my colleagues do, too. You have to be an amazingly patient and understanding and reasonable person to willingly serve this population. There's a reason 6/7/8 graders get separated into their own schools until they mature enough for high school.

[b]You do not write like someone who professionally works with teens day in and day out.[/b]

Why, thank you! I suppose teenagers erode writing skills? They are tiring, no doubt. I like being the adult in the room.

Should I instead write like the teenagers I know then okay I guess I can LOL but anyway if you don't believe me congradulations I just wanted to tell you what's going on with me like everyday I am just so tired because I have to like get up at like 5 and I have to like get out of my car and like run through the car line but most of the parents don't know I work there? and I so I have to like wave my arms at them so they let me go by?  I know right? I'm not waving to say hi I'm waving so I don't get run over by a crazy mom driving.

[/quote]

I don't think we actually disagree, then. And thanks for your work with kids. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics