Reply to Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Second wife here.  If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us ([i]my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs[/i]), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future.   That does not equal abuse. [b] It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. [/b] Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does.  Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does.  Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does.  Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom.  For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...[/quote]

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage. [/quote]

I had to after everything the X did.  She blacked my heart.  The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point.  I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.  [/quote]

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...[/quote]

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post?  OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex.  PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon.  This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE![/quote]

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2. [/quote]

I'm not in your position OP, but I grew up with parents and stepparents who passive aggressively fought like this.  It was terrible.  The thing is now I don't have the best relationships with either parent now.  My 78 yo mom still gripes about my father, and guilts me every holiday I spend with him or my ILs because I'm "all she has".  If I point out how she manipulated my relationship with my father and stepmother, she loses it.  On the other hand, my father and stepmom are more focused on their new family.  During a heart to heart years ago after finally plucking up the courage to tell my father how I felt as we grew apart after his second marriage, my father admitted his other children were easier as they weren't angry with him.  There was never any outright fighting; just passive comments, lack of understanding, and a general non-cordial relationship that I was in the middle of.  Don't make your kids part of some never-ending game.

[/quote]

If your Mom didn't support the relationship with Dad and you treated him poorly/rarely saw him or spoke to him, why is it a surprise that he moved on as there is only so much hurt and rejection before most give up.  Its on you to build the relationship.  My husband's ex was like that.  Sadly, he doesn't want much to do with the kids as usually its they want money or something from him and it gets old quickly.  I think one wants a relationship and wants him to initiate it but he will not as he's moved on.  He tried her 20's and she was horrible to him to make mom happy.  He doesn't trust her or her motives.  You will destroy your kids if you do this.  His kids are pretty dysfunctional now.[/quote]

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