Reply to How do you not feel guilty when spouse is working and you're not?

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Reply to "How do you not feel guilty when spouse is working and you're not?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, SAHMs will be defensive when you ask this question.  Accept it and move on.

Personally, I would be very upset if my daughter decided to be a stay at home mom since I have sacrificed a lot for her education.  It would be very difficult to think that could have saved all of the time, hours of weekly tutoring in a specialized language, and money. The thought that she wouldn't continue to help break down barriers for WOC in the workplace would be difficult to swallow.  We don't think of our boys in the same way.[/quote]

I don't get your point of view. You worked and sacrificed a lot for your daughter's education. And when you were home, she was going to tutoring for hours per week. Now you expect her to work, and this is why you did all this? What if she wants to be a SAHM? What is she is happy staying home with kids seeing how resentful you sound and doesn't want to be like you? She should break more barriers and you can't swollow it if she doesn't? I can't understand how can a mother be so selfish towards her child. It seems like the only value your DD has to you is if she becomes a prize winning horse, there is no unconditional love that I can see in your post. Parents provide secure growing environment by providing unconditional love and comfort, only in these cases do children become secure and independent grown ups. You don't seem to have provided either.  And you could have, no matter if you SAH or WOH. You resent your DD for your life choices, that is clear from your post. I just don't know why? Why can't you just love her, no matter what you think she should do?
 [/quote]

I wasn't going to post on this issue because it is such a heated topic, but I understand the PPs point.  We think it is fine for our girls to stay home and not fully use their education but it is not something we would contemplate for our boys.  DH and I are sacrificing a lot to ensure both of our kids have fully paid college educations, something our parents couldn't give us, and I would be disappointed if my daughter and son decided to opt out of the workforce just because.  I love both kids no matter what, but I truly think it is naive to think people don't have hopes and dreams for their children.[/quote]

Thanks for getting it. Unfortunately,  some just don't.[/quote]

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