Reply to Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't

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Reply to "Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those of you claiming OPs wife made all these sacrifices, what sacrifices are you talking about? Because I sure can't see them. If anything OP has made sacrifices.  OPs wife sounds entitled more than anything.[/quote]

[b]Giving up her career to SAH with 3 kids allowed her husband to focus on developing his own career. [/b] She has been the default parent and the one who has had constant kids with her 24/7.  Everything she has been doing has directly benefited her family and that is where her focus has been - her home, her husband, her kids.  She likely does not get a great deal of time to herself and the thought of being around her family and hometown friends again - her lifelong support network - is very appealing.  Op has said that he is not stuck working in any one particular area, he has the freedom to move around.  His wife has said that she would love to move back to her hometown.  Op has made it very clear that he has no interest in moving to such a small town.

I am a SAHM, myself, and I am actually team Op because I do think that he has been very clear in his position about not wanting to move to such a small town.  I do think that would be very tough on Op and his marriage in general to make a move like that.

At the same time, I totally understand how a woman with 3 young kids would want to be around a bigger support network.  She may have been fine living in a nameless, faceless city when she was single but her reality has absolutely changed now that she is a mother with 3 young kids.  Op needs to be sensitive to that.  Op, as the breadwinner, is not as tied down to the home as his wife is. Op can go on business trips, have business dinners with his colleagues, go out for cocktails and he has more freedom in general than his wife does.  His wife is doing playground, preschool, PTA duty, pediatrician appts.  Maybe she gets lunch out in a kid friendly restaurant every now and then.  She probably loves spending time with her kids but is craving adult interaction with people who know and love her.  Totally understandable.

[/quote]

OP didn't outright say it, but I don't get the impression that his wife "gave up her career" for OP.  I get the impression she wanted to get married to OP, and sounds like she didn't have much of her own thing going on.  Believe it or not, there are women who become sahms not as a sacrifice but so that they never have to work ever again.  I know lots of them (just like I know lots of women who gave up satisfying careers to stay home).  Based on the rest of the picture, I'd bet OP's wife was not giving up much of a career to stay home, and was very happy to have OP's income allow her to stop working.  [/quote]

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