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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did OP ever answer the question about how DH felt about having a kid in the first place? [/quote]

Well, I don't know.  There are men who are ambitious and career-oriented who very much want to have a kid, but it's less about the kid than it is about achieving a goal (their concept of family).  They want to have a wife, 2.5 kids, prestigious job, but it's impossible to have all of those things without tradeoffs.  Lots of men (and women) are fine with the tradeoff being that they don't spend much time with the wife or the kids.  But I have little sympathy for the wives in these situations because, in most instances, the wives knew it going it; it was clear the husbands were very ambitious and that would leave little time for family.  The wives actually sought that out and saw landing the ambitious husband as a win.  So when they later complain that they're lonely or their husband doesn't spend enough family time, I have little sympathy, especially when they look down on the man who works a middle class, 40-hour week, but actually sees his wife as a friend and companion and makes time to be around her (and kids, too).  They also tend to throw insults at women who work full time as well because they didn't marry a "high earner."  Again, there are always tradeoffs.  You make the choices you make and live with the consequences.  You married a high-earning, workaholic man, but he made it clear all along he wasn't going to change.  Now, you're upset because he hasn't changed even though he had a kid.

And it's flat out unreasonable to expect someone who works 70 hours a week at a high-stress job to not want down time.  No, you can't work that hard and then not have an opportunity to decompress in the evening or on the weekend.  
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