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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP, I'm team wife also.

Things I agree w/ that other posters have already said so well (and consistently):

- having one straightforward birth and manageable baby means nothing as a predictor for a second birth
- handling childcare on evenings and weekends doesn't begin to approximate what it is to be primary caregiver 80% of the time - let alone with a body ravaged by pregnancy and childbirth
- you have no way of knowing how your 2 yr old will behave when there's a newborn.  It may be smooth as silk and it may be an everloving nightmare.
- taking a 6 week old infant on an airplane in the winter invites significant risk factors for illness
- your marriage is bigger than any one occasion (the "even if you win this battle, you lose" statement)
- you need to uncouple the problems in your marriage from everything you are layering onto your ability to participate in this wedding
- finding a way to attend a weekend wedding is a VERY different scenario than agreeing to go away for more than a week, at christmas, with a newborn and a 2 year old with people you may or may not like/get along/feel supported by

Most importantly - you are doing very serious damage to your marriage with your approach and mindset.  Choose your battles wisely OP, and be sure the messages you are sending with your priorities match the things you really love and value.  RIght now it reads very much as though your desires for the wedding weekend and your family's wishes come persistently well ahead of your wife's feelings and the safest approach for your newborn.  Is that really how you feel?
[/quote]

How do you feel about wife refusing to let the toddler attend pp?[/quote]

I’m not the poster you are responding to, but I think there is more to it. He keeps saying he’s available except the ceremony and pictures. I’m sorry, the Best man is not available to provide child care and if he thinks he can adequately watch the child and be in the wedding, he’s crazy. [/quote]

My DH would not think twice about my going to a family event without him. I would not think twice about him going to a family event without me. Both of our families step up to take care of kids and bond with them. I think the fact that you think there is more to it speaks to the fact that this particular board (so NOT exactly an unbiased sample set) has ridiculously in law problems and is therefore projecting their own issues onto OP. [/quote]

I’m not projecting my own issues. I’m basing it on the OPs responses. If anything, YOU are projecting your situation. [/quote]

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