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[quote=Anonymous]Op here

This has generated a lot of interest.
First of all, I make 150k, she makes 320k. I’m not a slouch and work high up at a firm that does a lot of advocacy work for those that don’t have the deep pockets. I’m fine with my work for those attacking me for being a bum.

My wife is simply unrealistic in her expectations and has a strong selfish streak. I understand she works long hours. I am proud of her and what she has accomplished. I’ve helped her along the way. When she took a second bar early on and I was working 12 hour days. I did every little thing in the house. Never complained. It was a hard time for her to be in big law as an associate working long hours and then studying.

I would also quiz her afterwards. There were days I was coming home at 9 or 10 pm and still making dinners, the laundry etc. our income wasn’t close to what it is now and we lived in an apartment.
She was grateful. Don’t get me wrong. But after she was done, nothing changed. I was still working long hours (different job) and coming home and doing everything. At the time it wasn’t too much, but it is the thought that counts.

I am not unrealistic in my expectations. I would love to hire someone. But she doesn’t trust them. I am slowly working on convincing her and I am getting somewhere.

As for food. I am no fan of eating out and she isn’t either. She’s gained eight and is unhappy about that. Besides her sedentary lifestyle, she blamed eating out st work etc so likes the home cooked meals.
Again, I have no problem cooking and doing dishes as I go, but I need to see an effort on her part.

Also, the big law cash st one point may dry out if she’s not making partner and then she’ll be making comparable money to me. Maybe a bit more. She isn’t going to change her habits

For those that say look to the parents. Her mom is a clean freak which is why DW only cleans the house when she’s visiting. Her mom actually then cleans more.

I’ve tried calmly addressing it. I’ve tried fighting. I’ve trried the encouraging words. I just don’t know where to go from here. We have a good relationship otherwise. Get along well, good sex, fun times. 
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