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[quote=Anonymous]Biglaw partner here, and i'm sympathetic to OP and his wife's situation.  But i can assure you, in no uncertain terms, that the only solution is to hire a cleaner.  Unlike all the DC-area martyrs on here who think it's no big deal to leave work at 6, or 7 or 8pm and come home to do an hour of chores, i am a normal sane person who recognizes that life is shitty if this is your grind every day.  Can you do it?  Sure! Is there a reason your life needs to be so shitty?  no! Will it grind you down over a few years? Yes!

Leaving at 6pm and getting home by 6:30pm or so.... sure, you have energy to have a quick shower, do 10 minutes of tidying from breakfast, and make a decent dinner to put on the table when your DW gets home at 8pm.  But when you get home at 8pm from work, that's already a long day. You eat dinner, and now it's 8:45, and you haven't zoned out the whole day.  Why would you possibly want to clean up from dinner?  And don't even get me started on cleaning toilets or other chores.  So other people on here may whine about how they do 12 hour days every day, and if their lives are so terrible, then why shouldn't yours be too....**  But the OP is lucky to have lots of cash and there's no reason they should be this unhappy.  Hire a weekly cleaner -- get recommendations from your friends. You'll find someone who they've been using for years, so no trust issues.  Put your foot down with your DW on this issue.  Simplify dinners so that they are one pot clean ups (these are frequently the healthiest meals -- salads, roasted foods, grilling etc).  Cleanup from dinner should take no more than 10 minutes -- tackle it together every night.  Insist that DW clean her own breakfast before work. Problems solved.

If your DW refuses to adjust on these things, then it does seem that you have some deeper issues.

** i recall a thread a few months back where a newly back to work mom was asking about how the heck she was supposed to do anything in her life, what with pick up, drop off, cooking, bedtime routine, and a 10 hour work day, and some woman actually suggested she start going to the grocery store after the kids were asleep, followed by the gym at 10pm, and wake at 5:30am.  This is just lunacy.  [/quote]

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