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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "My wife is an entitled bum"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you are in the same profession and you earn half what she does. So if she were choosing to be mean, she could call you a bum. Because if she is in BigLaw and you are doing something else that pays 50% less, you either chose to do something less lucrative, or you didn’t do well enough in law school to get a higher paying job. Either way sounds “bum like” to me. I’m in BigLaw, and it’s brutal. A 9 to 5 lower paying job sounds nice, but I stay in BigLaw because the money is very important to our family (we have kids). My husband earns much less than me, and does the vast majority of chores and kid stuff. We do pay for a weekly cleaning service. My husband values and is proud of my high income and the lifestyle it affords us. I in turn value all he does for the household. There were several years where his income was so low that it cost us money for him to work due to the cost of childcare. But he prefers to work and I love him so I supported that. If my husband’s career takes off some day, I am happy to step back and take over more household stuff, provided of course his career can replace my earnings from going part time. He knows that, but is very happy being an involved dad and not working long hours (his words, not mine). We don’t bean count but recognize that both of us make huge and irreplaceable contributions to our household. We are very happy. My husband would never call me a bum for contributing a lot less on the chores side, and I would never call him a bum for contributing a lot less on the money side. You can certainly just leave your wife. If she makes twice what you do, she can literally hire someone to clean, cook etc., and probably end up doing not that much more than what she does now. If she were a “bum” she’d be pretty screwed without you supporting her, but I suspect if she is in BigLaw making 200k+ a year that she will do just fine. You, on the other hand, will still do all of the exact same chores you do now, except you will no longer have the same standard of living because you will literally have access to a third of the income you had before. And maybe you resent your wife so much that you’d prefer to have way less money and the same chore load, just to force your wife to either pay for or do chores. But that seems incredibly stupid. And let’s say you meet someone else who does 50% of the chores and earns the same as your wife - are you going to step up and start earning 50% of the money? If not, is she allowed to call you a bum and divorce you?[/quote]
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