Reply to Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?

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Reply to "Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP if your really want to get into the truth of it, grab one of the two friends that won't be friends with him anymore and have them tell you what's really going on.

Because they are "standing up" for something, and I doubt they are trying to get your DH to leave you for your DH's sake.

The reason they are not speaking to your DH is because he's cheating on you, lying to you, and badmouthing you, and they don't want to support him in his behavior.

So your DH has twisted it into "they won't be friends with me until I leave you," but the truth is more likely "we won't be friends with you while you cheat on your wife. Either leave her or stop cheating."

OP, I'm not one to jump to divorce, but what gives a person strength is to have explored the other options.  I've been married 20 years, and we are happily married, and it's not always been a bed of roses.  But the fact that I am not afraid to leave my husband, even though I'm a SAHM and we have kids, makes me approach the marriage not out of a sense of duty or entrapment or fear, but on equal terms.  Children can sense that.

I don't mean that I've ever threatened to leave, but in my mind, I've figured out what and how my and my kids' leaving would happen.  I've envisioned what a good life for my kids would be like if we were divorced.  Then it is really a true free choice to stay.

You would never know this, looking at us, because we seem so bonded, so happily married.  And the point is, that's because WE ARE bonded and happily married.  Because I'm not trapped in "must make the marriage work for the kids' sake, no matter how bad the DH behavior" mode--the mode you are in.[/quote]

+1 to all of this.  So perfectly worded.  Staying in a marriage or ANY relationship because you are afraid of the alternative is a recipe for misery.  And yea, those friends are definitely putting their foot down about something and it ain't "we don't like your wife".  [/quote]

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