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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am six years into a similar type of situation. (Reunion with biological relatives whom I met late in life through DNA matching and record searches.)

Although it can be exhilarating to find biological connections that you did not know were there, you may want to proceed with caution. At the very least, keep some healthy boundaries for a year or two. All families have problems. You will know this family's problems soon enough. You want to make sure their problems don't become your problems too.

Also, after you get past comparing stuff like your shared love of cars, the shape of your nose, etc., you will realize that not having shared memories of childhood, shared experience with parents, etc., is meaningful for the relationships you're forming. At family gatherings, they'll talk about the time Uncle Tommy got drunk and tried to put pants on the dog. You'll laugh but it won't be your memory and you'll begin to realize that this matters. This will create a distance, which can be overcome in time and with the creation of new memories, but you'll have to work at it and the new memories will be more like those you make with a new friend. Not real family as one usually conceptualizes it.

Reunions like this often follow a pattern where folks rush in with irrational exuberance, rush out in an equally exaggerated manner, and then settle into a more normal/less idealized and hopefully healthier connection. It's good to maintain emotional distance while the boomerang runs it's course. At the very least, take precautions with your family.

Very best wishes! [/quote]

Thank you very much.  This is so true.  I have been careful, for this reason, to not overwhelm them with my enthusiasm.  They have been very sweet in sharing childhood experiences that they had with our father and stories about him and other family members.  They wanted to learn more about me and my childhood experiences, photographs etc.  In all, it would be tough to "romanticize" this in a way as if they are siblings that I grew up with.  However, I love them as siblings and have enjoyed establishing relationship with them. I cannot regain that time lost sharing childhoods.  I enjoy, instead, getting to know this side of my life and enjoying the sweet siblings, spouses and children of my siblings.  Thank you for writing, it was a very supportive and sweet post.[/quote]

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