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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am six years into a similar type of situation. (Reunion with biological relatives whom I met late in life through DNA matching and record searches.)

Although it can be exhilarating to find biological connections that you did not know were there, you may want to proceed with caution. At the very least, keep some healthy boundaries for a year or two. All families have problems. You will know this family's problems soon enough. You want to make sure their problems don't become your problems too.

Also, after you get past comparing stuff like your shared love of cars, the shape of your nose, etc., you will realize that not having shared memories of childhood, shared experience with parents, etc., is meaningful for the relationships you're forming. At family gatherings, they'll talk about the time Uncle Tommy got drunk and tried to put pants on the dog. You'll laugh but it won't be your memory and you'll begin to realize that this matters. This will create a distance, which can be overcome in time and with the creation of new memories, but you'll have to work at it and the new memories will be more like those you make with a new friend. Not real family as one usually conceptualizes it.

Reunions like this often follow a pattern where folks rush in with irrational exuberance, rush out in an equally exaggerated manner, and then settle into a more normal/less idealized and hopefully healthier connection. It's good to maintain emotional distance while the boomerang runs it's course. At the very least, take precautions with your family.

Very best wishes! [/quote]

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