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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The bottom line is people are not perfect. Including parents. Irrespective of race, most people are set in their ways and seek comfort in the familiar. OPs wife is reacting partially out of fear & insecurity while stepping into unfamiliar territory. Vietnamese is home, familiar, comfortable. Anything else uncomfortable.
Does that make her a bad person, or racist? I don't think so. Look within America you'll find a lot of people, (non-Asian) like her.  If you shun people like that and hate them, you'll be hating half the world. I think time and understanding will heal everything. 
       [/quote]

She is doing more than reacting out of fear and insecurity, she is refusing to attend a wedding.  That's a huge slight in American culture.  The one in which she lives.  The one in which her son is marrying into.  And that's a mistake that time may or may not heal.  I think that's what a lot of us are trying to express here - that the assumption that time will heal everything (i.e. the snubbing of this wedding) is a very risky one to make, with serious negative consequences if and when grandkids enter the picture.

The shunning is occurring on the part of OP's wife, not the posters here.[/quote]
This.  Maybe the wife's feelings are understandable, but she is reacting in a way that is HUGELY offensive and will likely cause lasting damage to the relationship.  The assumption that the wife will "come around" when grandkids enter the picture completely ignores the fact that, by boycotting the wedding, she is creating a situation in which she's not the only one who will need to "come around" for the relationship to heal, and her change of heart may be irrelevant because she's burned the bridge.  [/quote]

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