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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

The suggestion of finding non-mom friends is a good one.  I need to do more of that.  This fall, though, to try to do more of that, I did sign up for a 10 week cooking class at my church.  It's during the day (from noon-1 pm), and I thought I would meet other moms maybe, but everyone is over 65.  Which is fine, and I've met some nice older ladies, but I'm 34 and was hoping to meet more folks at least in my same life stage.

I'm a nurse who works 4 shifts a week, so part-time, and not a SAHM.  My daughter is in morning preschool 3 days per week and then I'm home with her in the afternoons, or we have a part-time nanny who is home with her when I'm working.

But I do have lots of time to spend with my child, so I consider myself kind of like a SAHM, since I'm around during the days most days.  I have joined a few SAHM groups, and go to the activities, but haven't really made any SAHM friends.  All my friends who I met at moms groups or at church work full-timeh, including the moms at the preschool. Due to the nature of my job (since when I'm off the clock I'm off the clock), I have a lot of "mental energy" when I'm home to spend planning parties and events, making sure my house is guest-ready, cooking, cleaning, etc.  That also means a lot of time I feel very lonely, and that I have too much time on my hands.

I haven't read all the way thru, but I think it's a combo of this and what other people talked about in terms of not being comfortable inviting you to smaller gatherings because you are more acquaintance than friend. We have been in this situation with one or two families that throw big lavish parties we have attended.  We have gone and frankly didn't reciprocate even though I am someone that would usually. In both cases, I felt like we were included on the party
List which was nice but I didn't really think either family wanted to be our "friends" - we entertain but usually small gatherings of 1-3 families and I would not have felt. Importable inciting either family to such an intimate event.

If I were you I'd scale back for 6 months. Instead of huge parties, invite one or two families/moms that you think you really click with to do something. And, maybe don't entertain at home. Or keep it more casual and less Pinterest'y.

I am trying to make a whole new social life.  We moved here from out of state 5 years ago, and we moved here not knowing a single person.  It was really hard at first, but then I had my daughter and I started meeting tons of moms, at my breastfeeding support group, moms groups, etc.  I stayed home for the first 6 months so it was easy to meet other moms, and I've stayed friends with them.  My daughter is now 3.

[b]Regarding the parties, admittedly my house does look like something out of HGTV (the house after all the renos), I spend a lot of time on renovations and decorating, and my house is always clean, tidy, and well-organized.  When guests come over maybe they feel like their house can't measure up.  But renovating, decorating, and home-making is my hobby, along with entertaining, so I enjoy it.

For me planning the next party or event at my house is like going on vacation--I love the anticipation, the planning, the details.  I plan out the food, drinks, crafts, etc. weeks in advance, and every detail about my parties is Pinterest-worthy.  People seem to love my parties and I get tons of compliments, and I'm also a gracious host who makes sure everyone enjoys themselves and that the conversation flows well.[/b]

But what gets to me is that people aren't inviting us over even for simple playdates.  All I want is for someone to think of me, to say, hey, I haven't had you all over in a long time.  Want to come over next week for a playdate?

They do often say, "we should get together for a playdate soon" and then we are never invited, despite the fact that I've already invited them over to 2 parties, and 3 playdates at my house that year.  It makes me wonder if I really do have friends or not.[/quote]

IF you are not a troll (I’m not sure) then the bolder above is definitely your problem. You are intimidating the hell out of people. I am a SAHM with a nice house but I don’t have the extra money for renovations or extensive decorating. We have fresh paint and newer furniture and light fixtures but the house itself is 25 years old. I loathe Pinterest. When we have families over it’s usually burgers & brats in the summer or chili/cornbread in the winter. My junk/mail counter in the kitchen is what it is. Same with my laundry room which is right off the kitchen. I prefer casual is key friends. I don’t want to spend parties walking around asking people if they need their drink refillled. It casual enough people help themselves and I like it this way.

If I attended one of your Pinterest parties in your fully renovated decorated house, I would be way too intimidated to ever have you over.[/quote][/quote]

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