Reply to I am tired of people making fun of the parents of only children.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the parent of an only child.  That was not our plan; we wanted two kids.  But my DW had two miscarriages after DD was born.  We tried to adopt after the second, but a few months into the process I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer.  The social worker we were working with said that it would be disqualifying.

DD is now a HS student.  Socially, there are huge disadvantage to being an only child:  many of the conflict resolution skills she would have developed with a sibling are undeveloped.  [/quote]

OP here.

I'm sorry for your losses.

We have a large family. It's right for us. That said, there are also disadvantages of being one of several children and the stereotypes, negative and positive, that exist regarding children in large families probably exist for a reason.

I'm guessing your kid probably benefited in many ways from being an only child... [/quote]

PP here.  There are several ways she has and will benefit....first, we have more resources.  If she needs something, there is no competition.  Second, she gets more attention.  As in, any event will have a parent present.  Usually 2. (I do not understand how parents with 4 kids manage soccer Saturdays...).  Third, (maybe an extension of 1st), more financial options for college:  we can pay for 1 kid to go anywhere.  Two would be a problem.  And finally, she will inherit more money.  
  [/quote]

So, money, money, money?

You are correct that your one child will likely have more financial resources than some. But is that necessarily a good thing?

I'm one of four. My parents attended our school and sporting events for the most part. Mom was a sahm and had leadership positions at our private school. Dad coached a number of teams. Sometimes we carpooled to games with our friends. (Note to pp: *That's* how families handle busy Saturdays with conflicting events...carpool...google it.)

My parents invested in private school K-12 for the four of us, and they made it clear that they could cover in-state tuition.

I babysat starting as a young teen, had summer jobs, and worked PT during college and FT over summer. I learned how to budget and invest better than my more privileged counterparts who were handed things on a silver platter. Many of my friends from law school are still in debt. I am not. Many of my friends who were singletons or only have 1 sibling were essentially spoiled and are unequipped to cowboy up and be self-sufficient.

I have four kids. They are loved. They have everything they need. They have passports and have traveled extensively. They are not spoiled. They realize they are part of a family unit of 6, and that sometimes they need to wait. They seem to be more independent and self-sufficient than some of their counterparts. They seem to have better self-control and more empathy. They know how to pitch in and help (even without being asked). We can cover in-state tuition, and we will counsel them against student loans and debt.

When we're old and sick, they'll have their siblings and won't shoulder any burdens alone. They're being raised with the mantra: one team, one fight. And while they are being taught the value of a dollar, how to save, etc., they are also being taught that money isn't everything. They realize they are blessed and privileged despite going to public school, wearing their siblings' hand me downs, and not being shipped off to sailing camp. They aren't snobs. They are cool little people.[/quote]

Defensive much?[/quote]

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