Reply to My boys don't want me to get remarried

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]teen boys have a problem with a strange man living in their house and penetrating their mom in the home. It makes them feel like a cuckold.  It's just the way it is.  Really has an effect on how they will see women in their future not in a good way.
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This is a rather broad generalization...[/quote]

Not really. It's disturbingly accurate. When you hack through all the psychobabble and smoke screens it is the reason why the house has a sick feeling at its root.[/quote]

Do you know what the OP's house feels like??  Unless you are Freud, go sit down...[/quote]

The bottom line is the kids can't help how they feel and they are just kids with the right to be deeply hurt over being forced to live in an awkward situation.  It's harder for the children to live with a strange unrelated man in the house.  The mother is putting her happiness squarely ahead of the children's happiness.  The children know it and the mother knows it.  [quote]It plants the seeds of justified resentment and guilt for a lifetime.[/quote][/quote] Maybe the kids should have resentment towards their father for being an alcoholic and being the one to destroy the family in the first place. Op is doing her best. That's all anyone could do.  If Op's XH was deceased, what would the advice be? Don't remarry the kids have been thru enough?[/quote]

Doing your best is to not bring a unrelated strange man in your teens home to cohabitate till the kids are up and out. I'm not saying this as some kind of morality play or shaming thing. It's for the consideration of making ones life better for the long haul. The resentment, damage and hurt inside the teen boys could last forever and bring sadness forever. Could you imagine how stupid you would feel in the statistically highly likely event of divorcing husband number 2?  Is it even worth the risk? When you make the plunge to override the comfortable home of your teen boys with this new marriage you almost can't even afford to have a fight with your new spouse. The kids will be like oh great.. Fighting with the guy we don't want in the house ... Kick him out.  It's like you have to act happier than you are and walk on eggshells to avoid any chance the relationship sours and you look like a fool.  Nobody is worth that crap.[/quote]

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