Reply to <vent> Why does DH always think we'll have sex when he comes back from business trips?

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Reply to "<vent> Why does DH always think we'll have sex when he comes back from business trips?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand this thinking that women are just blow up dolls who should put out whenever their husbands want. Do you really want to have sex with someone who is tired, cranky, and just plain not in the mood?[/quote]

This is where compromise comes in. Obviously when your partner isn't receptive it's time to wait. Don't force it, totally pathetic and unwanted. It's like dating, you know who is interested and who is not. The signals are usually pretty clear. Step back and be respectful. Wait for a better time. Sex is about both, not just one getting off. [/quote]

Exactly [/quote]

OK. How often does wife compromise and have sex when she doesn't really feel like it but know DH does? I'll wait. (And if your answer is "every single time" then you have issues and I feel sad that you're in such a sorry marriage.)[/quote]

I don't know. What's fair when someone really doesn't want to do something but the other person does? Like going out on dates? What if the wife wants to go out weekly, but the DH would be happy with twice a year? How do we figure that out? He could probably go whenever she likes and do the bare minimum, not making any conversation, looking uncomfortable, asking if she's almost finished eating, pouting if she wants to order an appetizer. Or he could probably fake his way through one date a month, assuming she makes all the arrangements, sends little reminder texts throughout the day, chooses a place he likes to eat, doesn't try to make it last any longer than necessary. Or they could maybe both be adults and try to figure out a way to take an interest in what the other likes, whether it's going out or having sex, and communicate their likes and dislikes to try to make the experience better for both of them.

The one thing that definitely doesn't increase a person's libido is refusing all things sexual. [/quote]

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