Reply to D14 Deleting My FB Posts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are there so many kids who oppose so vehemently to having their pictures on FB? Isn't this the age of social media? As long as it is a flattering picture - God knows they are almost all posting TONS of those themselves - what about it gets them so bent out of shape? And even if the parent gets their approval that they like the way they look in it?

I have three - 16, 14, and 12 - none of them could care less. Help me understand.[/quote]

I'm so glad there was no social media when I was a teenager because I can easily recall all the things that were a Really Big Deal.  That age is precarious because they're encountering so many different emotions for the first time and the hormone injection puts those feelings in bright, overwhelming technicolor that shuts out everything else and also causes them to swing wildly from one mood to the next.

There must be some kind of evolutionary/biological function driving it, and also driving the way we forget the effects once we're past it.

And social media adds a whole new dimension to bullying.  Kids can gang up on someone and be ruthlessly cruel.  Whereas an embarrassing episode for me at age 14 only lives on my head, now it's online, lives forever in visible form, and can get exacerbated by thousands or even millions of strangers witnessing it and piling on.  I can't imagine the stress of that, but it's obviously serious because there are stories all the time about kids who kill themselves just hours after some mean comment.

My biggest fear with my kid is that he won't trust me enough to ask for help with a crisis because he thinks I'll view it as a silly No Big Deal and something he should just get over.  That's why I'm appalled by the OP's response to this and his inability to see the ramifications of breaking his daughter's trust. [b] IF[/b] she stole his password, that's also a big deal but he put her in that position.  I think she has a double quandary in trying to talk to him about it because all his thoughts are aligned to how he [i]looks [/i]as a parent and her request cut into his need, so he couldn't hear it.  Talking to him, especially when you're having trouble articulating feelings, must be a crazy-making exercise and something to be avoided.

Regardless of his own feelings, sending him multiple texts and insisting he take immediate action is a sign of distress.  Distress.  He's missing that very important piece of data in his effort to define it - on his terms - as rational or not.  And then patting himself on the back for being a good dad.[/quote]

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