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[quote=Anonymous]Since you stated you wish to handle the situation with the kids separately from how you work through the situation with your husband, I'll skim past the rant on the need for counseling and whatnot.  From the sounds of it, you have decided to stay in your marriage, which I do think can be done so long as you and your husband are both willing to do the work.

Since your kids are so young, you have a little time before they will fully understand how their half sister came to be.  When they are old enough, it's important to be honest with them.  Tell them that their father made a big mistake, how badly it hurt you, and it took a lot of work for you to make your family work.  Make sure to explain that his daughter is in no way to blame, and that you are glad she is a part of their lives.  Hopefully by the time this comes to pass, you will also be able to share how you worked together to make your marriage work.  In the end, it can be a lesson for them on forgiveness and redemption.

That being said, do make sure you figure out how to deal with this yourself first.  You have a lot to process, and it may be best to just not say much/anything to the kids about it until you have fully decided how you want to handle things.[/quote]

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