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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just read through the whole thread and wanted to relate a story to you. I was the older woman so let me give you my perspective. Had a guy who I worked with occasionally that we got to be friends. I didn't think much of it but I later reflected back on it that it was a slow slow process that I got drawn into. It started off as just co-workers, had to email,text about stuff occasionally. Then a chat at work about whatever. Then a "oh you going to lunch, me to, lets go together". Simple enough, then talk about work leads to other talk, find out you had things in common, chat some more.  Started with simple questions about work and things about the company. It was that whole slow boil of a lobster in a pot. By the time you know it you are in boiling water and it is to late. He had  a girlfriend and things were a little rough at the time and I would be supportive and encourage him to do nice things for and with her.  As time went on it turns out he thought I was a lot younger than I was. By then he was fully engaged and determined and I could have been in my late 60's and he wouldn't have stopped. So before I realized what was going on, and yes I was the older adult I should have known, he had an emotional attachment to me that to some extent I had encouraged or at least didn't discourage. Did I like the attention? Of course I did, did I have thoughts of it going further; of course I did. He was a young, hot guy with to much time on his hands.

So where did it end?  I put my big girl undies on and did the right thing for everyone. He eventually did try something and at first I gave in, but stopped myself and him from taking to a point that we couldn't come back. It is probably the most passion I have dealt with in any relationship that I have ever been in. He was too young, he wanted things I couldn't offer and the girl friend could. Much like your situation. I saw him setting this up for him to basically get a uterus out of the girlfriend and keep me as a side piece. I am to old for that crap to do that no matter how passionate things were. I have the ability to work else where in my company so I did. Stopping the day to day interactions is what did it for me. There is no continuation of the conversation at work over text if I am not there every day. Slowly things petered out, the text stopped, the phone calls stopped and I could take a deep breath again. He became an addiction. It was nice to have all the attention morning, noon and night. I had to make the decision to do this. If I hadn't this would have ended very ugly and with a lot of hurt feelings and mostly on my part.

This was sort of a very slow seduction that at my age I should have know better to get sucked into. I was just glad I was able to extract myself. Do I think this was a master manipulator who just had evil intentions? No, I think he wanted his cake and eat it too and it was easier to find several people to fill the voids in his life instead of trying to get one person to fulfill 95%. He had a lot of interest that the girlfriend didn't really care about and he found that in me. He had tons of things in common with the girlfriend but some core things weren't being met.  Problem is you can't find 100% in any person and he wanted 100% and was willing to spread it out among several people. I played a role in this and am willing to admit it. I have never discussed this whole thing with him and we occasionally still have to interact. Seeing him is hard and he greets me like a long lost friend/love when we do see each other.  At first, after seeing him at meeting or whatever, he would start texting again and I would have to either ignore or give reason I wasn't able to respond. I would hear the sucking void trying to lure me back in. He stayed with his girlfriend, she moved in. She never knew about me as far as I know.

I guess I am saying that if you want this to end you have to figure out the why? You can't tell him you read his text, but you need to figure out what is the draw to this person. I believe that I wasn't that special and that we just clicked over some interest and things got spun up. I am not a bad looking woman and I don't really look my age so that didn't help. You indicated that this woman may be the same thing. My biggest issue is I don't think the age thing mattered. He could have easily behaved the same way with anyone else and for all I know he may have found a replacement for me.

Hope everything works out[/quote]
Great post. One more thing, the other woman isn't always attractive. Sometimes the emotional connection dims everything else.[/quote]

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