Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There was an article in the Atlantic that basically said the biggest key to being happy was your circle of friends.  If your friends are all out earning you, and you are the type to be competitive, keeping up with the Joneses, you will be miserable.

Truth be told, OP and her husband are definitely making over 200k per year.  But she looks towards those couples making double and is resentful.  I am somewhat sympathetic, if only because she has offered to move which would dramatically increase their lifestyle and lower their stress levels and he won't have it.

They should see a marriage counselor and hash this all out.  Their marriage is doomed on the course they are on.  Then their finances and kids will really be destroyed.

FWIW, I think he is in sales, not law.  But the idea you just walk into a BigLaw job has never been true and is especially untrue now.  I am the hiring partner for a BigLaw firm, we don't hire a lot of laterals unless they were in house and have business ties.  Even if we hired a government attorney, the pay is probably $175-200k but he will be expected to work exceptionally more hours with no partner track in sight until he develops a book of business.  Point being, he will earn somewhat more, lose his pension, see his family a lot less.  Not exactly a great tradeoff.[/quote]

It's an over-generalization to say everyone who wants to make more is concerned about their friends, neighbors, the Jones.  Some of us do just want to travel more, retire earlier, provide certain things for our kids.  Pretty sure what my friends/relatives do are not part of that equation for me personally.[/quote]

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