Reply to Is this ridiculous? DH and I disagree over whether to have another child

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Reply to "Is this ridiculous? DH and I disagree over whether to have another child"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think either of you is being ridiculous, but the "No" always wins in this particular argument. Sorry.[/quote]
+1 And being SAHM doesn't mean that your "yes" has more weight than his "no." That is not a healthy way to look at having a child.[/quote]

His no means more than your yes because he's paying for everything. He would be paying for you to spend money you didn't earn on a child he didn't want. No means no.[/quote]

This is ridiculous and rude to all SAHMs. You may not like the OP but there is no reason to be this insulting to SAHMs in general. [/quote]

How is it insulting? She is a dependent.[/quote]

NP. It's incredibly insulting. I am a dependent, if you look at it that way, but "he would be paying for you to spend money you didn't earn" is such a crass way to describe a family situation. What my dh earns is OUR money, and what I spend is OUR money. It's not even to do with the 4th child, it's your seeming inability to view a marriage with only one wage earner as an equal partnership. I'm sorry you can't imagine it, but I'm fortunate to have just that. [/quote]

NP. Do you not discuss large purchases? Would you buy a vacation home while you're a sahm and he's the sole earner, and he doesn't want a vacation home? I'm sure he'd enjoy it when he can get time off to spend in it. Otherwise it won't affect him, because he's working anyway. And when he's ready to retire in 30 years it'll be paid off, so what's the big deal?[/quote]

You're talking to me - as is the poster before you who replied to my comment - about things I didn't say. I said that for me, this POV is insulting, completely separate from the discussion about a 4th child. [b]It's about the suggestion that a SAHM is spending her dh's money and I find that offensive.[/quote][/b]

I'm 19:42. If you don't earn, you are spending someone else's money. If you want an equal partnership, earn some money (probably a lot, in your relationship). If not, earn your own money and spend that.[/quote]

PP, do you bring such black and white thinking to your workplace? Do you always view the world in such concrete terms? Why are you refusing to consider a different viewpoint or perspective? Why such divisiveness?[/quote]

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